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Slowly climbing into May
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekinghopeNZ" data-source="post: 765283" data-attributes="member: 33245"><p>Newstart I can relate. The lies have caused such a breakdown in our relationship with our daughter. We truly cannot believe anything she says. It is so erosive because many of the things she says are awful crisis things, like her friend has died, or her boyfriend has been hitting her. She even lied about a pregnancy once before and that is why we didn't believe her this time round and had to ask for proof. She did show us proof and that is how we know she is pregnant, but now I can't trust any details she gives about her partner or living situation. We have a mixed approach to the lies. Sometimes I tell her straight up I don't trust what she is saying and I need evidence. Sometimes I have to ignore the lies because I know that it makes no difference if I call her out. The saddest part is that things that might be true I now always assume to be a lie first. She lies sometimes to tell us what she thinks we want to hear, but most of the time I have come to see that she lies because she is trying to manipulate an outcome that she wants and to get the attention, control or validation she needs. I can feel your pain because it is so destructive. Sometimes they say something that brings hope - like a job, only for it to come crashing down at the lie, and sometimes I hear the most awful soul-destroying things that I can only hope and pray are a lie. Other people also fall victim to her lying which is also sad. I am glad you had that eclipse moment together - a gracious moment of togetherness that shows your love and compassion despite the exhaustion of what you have to live with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekinghopeNZ, post: 765283, member: 33245"] Newstart I can relate. The lies have caused such a breakdown in our relationship with our daughter. We truly cannot believe anything she says. It is so erosive because many of the things she says are awful crisis things, like her friend has died, or her boyfriend has been hitting her. She even lied about a pregnancy once before and that is why we didn't believe her this time round and had to ask for proof. She did show us proof and that is how we know she is pregnant, but now I can't trust any details she gives about her partner or living situation. We have a mixed approach to the lies. Sometimes I tell her straight up I don't trust what she is saying and I need evidence. Sometimes I have to ignore the lies because I know that it makes no difference if I call her out. The saddest part is that things that might be true I now always assume to be a lie first. She lies sometimes to tell us what she thinks we want to hear, but most of the time I have come to see that she lies because she is trying to manipulate an outcome that she wants and to get the attention, control or validation she needs. I can feel your pain because it is so destructive. Sometimes they say something that brings hope - like a job, only for it to come crashing down at the lie, and sometimes I hear the most awful soul-destroying things that I can only hope and pray are a lie. Other people also fall victim to her lying which is also sad. I am glad you had that eclipse moment together - a gracious moment of togetherness that shows your love and compassion despite the exhaustion of what you have to live with. [/QUOTE]
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