Worndown68
New Member
I need support and I don’t find this easy, My daughter, 50, exhausted patience of the lady who took her in 2 years ago. An extremely kind hearted person was housing her, but when she failed to show any indication of getting a job, started getting annoyed that she wasn’t being treated to hair appointments or meals out or trips to the beach, she turned on her and started treating her the way she has treated me. It became too unpleasant for this lady (who I have known for 30 years) to be in her own home. So my daughter, who has been trying to get disability for her mental health for a year, committed herself. This is not the first time she has done this upon fear of losing the roof over her head. They are going to give her ECT which I know will terrify her and I worry that it won’t actually help her because she is more Borderline (BPD) with huge entitlement, so unless there really is major depression, or she has professionals who have correctly diagnosed her, will it do any good or just make her angrier? She has, since she was about 26 tried many anti depressants. But nothing has helped her. She was in a sober living house years ago, where she was supposed to get employment and pay $400 a month. She did neither. She doesn’t have a car (dui in my car 20yrs ago) but feels she is too good to ride public transportation. I had a Uber account she has been using for doctors apts, grocery shopping etc. But after she abused it several times I cancelled that.
Her last visit with me was not good. She came by Uber and was proudly showing off a watch she had bought after getting money from the government somehow.
Since she has been sponging off everyone for years I didn’t comprehend why she didn’t save that money for Rxs or something that others were funding.
She had been posting on her FB page for a year that she has Ca? Looking up childhood friends to get support and sympathy. Posting a picture of the 14 bottles of medications she has? I think she was aware she had outstayed her welcome and looking for another place to sofa surf.
I have housed her in many places over the years myself but nothing was either “good enough “ or she fell out seriously with neighbours. I could write a book .
She asked if she could move in with me after her treatment but I had to refuse. If I had my own house I might have caved. But I live in a small apt and she is so loud and disruptive and angry at everyone and everything and I just need some peace now at my age. I have enabled her over the years, hoping every time that she would keep a job and pay her bills. That has never happened though.
But she was such a good baby and an adorable child, until pre teen years.
I was divorced from her Dad when she was 3 and he really didn’t have a relationship with her. So along with her identical twin (who also has addiction and anger issues) I raised them on my own. It was tough, and I had to work hard and they saw that. So I don’t understand the lack of work ethic? If she ever earns money she uses it for meals out and alcohol, she has always loved to party so I honestly don’t think she is suffering from MDD? I get horrible abusive texts, full of lies and accusations of abuse as a child? She has never been abused by me or anyone.
I pray that she will find a path to an independent life, I wish I could be more hopeful though. I feel like I am abandoning an angry toddler (she was actually a very happy toddler?). I don’t know how to find peace. I have read every book on Borderline (BPD) by Marsha Linehan, and whoever. I had bought the VHS tapes and workbook for her so many years ago. Because she didn’t want therapy. I think she was so happy living at the beach, smoking weed and drinking that she really wasn’t interested in changing. I myself have had therapy since she was 17. Told to go no contact many times and I have.
But I always seem to think that things will change one day, she will apologise and build a life. It doesn’t seem she will though. I just came here in desperation as I have read so many similar stories from other parents over the years.
Her last visit with me was not good. She came by Uber and was proudly showing off a watch she had bought after getting money from the government somehow.
Since she has been sponging off everyone for years I didn’t comprehend why she didn’t save that money for Rxs or something that others were funding.
She had been posting on her FB page for a year that she has Ca? Looking up childhood friends to get support and sympathy. Posting a picture of the 14 bottles of medications she has? I think she was aware she had outstayed her welcome and looking for another place to sofa surf.
I have housed her in many places over the years myself but nothing was either “good enough “ or she fell out seriously with neighbours. I could write a book .
She asked if she could move in with me after her treatment but I had to refuse. If I had my own house I might have caved. But I live in a small apt and she is so loud and disruptive and angry at everyone and everything and I just need some peace now at my age. I have enabled her over the years, hoping every time that she would keep a job and pay her bills. That has never happened though.
But she was such a good baby and an adorable child, until pre teen years.
I was divorced from her Dad when she was 3 and he really didn’t have a relationship with her. So along with her identical twin (who also has addiction and anger issues) I raised them on my own. It was tough, and I had to work hard and they saw that. So I don’t understand the lack of work ethic? If she ever earns money she uses it for meals out and alcohol, she has always loved to party so I honestly don’t think she is suffering from MDD? I get horrible abusive texts, full of lies and accusations of abuse as a child? She has never been abused by me or anyone.
I pray that she will find a path to an independent life, I wish I could be more hopeful though. I feel like I am abandoning an angry toddler (she was actually a very happy toddler?). I don’t know how to find peace. I have read every book on Borderline (BPD) by Marsha Linehan, and whoever. I had bought the VHS tapes and workbook for her so many years ago. Because she didn’t want therapy. I think she was so happy living at the beach, smoking weed and drinking that she really wasn’t interested in changing. I myself have had therapy since she was 17. Told to go no contact many times and I have.
But I always seem to think that things will change one day, she will apologise and build a life. It doesn’t seem she will though. I just came here in desperation as I have read so many similar stories from other parents over the years.