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Failure to Thrive
For those whose children have mental issues, where to start getting help?
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 763059" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Broken, Welcome to this site. I don't post as often anymore but though my problems with my sons have improved they have also progressed in other areas. Both are at least not homeless or living in their cars anymore but having housing by the skin of their teeth and it's always teetering on disaster. My youngest, 29 seems to be following down the path of his father who died from alcoholism just 7 months ago. He manages to work a different type non 9-5 type job and not everyday, but who knows how long that will last. </p><p></p><p>It is heartbreaking for us parents to deal with all this and honestly when they were both living in their cars in the middle of winter I could hardly deal with it. I know I only survived by the grace of God.</p><p></p><p>The things that have helped me over the years to cope are Al anon, this website, my trust in God and my constant turning my sons over to Him whenever I worry about them But I also have to say through Al anon that I learned to change myself and to stop focusing my every waking thought on them. Just like with my husband, I became addicted to their addictions. I didn't matter and all that did was their well-being and comfort. I cared more than they did, although they surely grumbled a lot, I know I still cared more because I was the only one trying to make their lives better. </p><p></p><p>Things may never change and/or they may improve slightly for your son, but the only sure-fire bet of anyone changing is you. It's your choice but it is not magical and in the beginning it almost hurts your heart and brain to remove your every waking thought of them. It feels wrong and uncaring as a parent but as you get stronger and surround yourself with those things that will strengthen you, you will be able to set boundaries and keep them. </p><p></p><p>Remember it's self-care and not selfishness. You matter too.</p><p></p><p>Sending prayers and hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 763059, member: 23405"] Broken, Welcome to this site. I don't post as often anymore but though my problems with my sons have improved they have also progressed in other areas. Both are at least not homeless or living in their cars anymore but having housing by the skin of their teeth and it's always teetering on disaster. My youngest, 29 seems to be following down the path of his father who died from alcoholism just 7 months ago. He manages to work a different type non 9-5 type job and not everyday, but who knows how long that will last. It is heartbreaking for us parents to deal with all this and honestly when they were both living in their cars in the middle of winter I could hardly deal with it. I know I only survived by the grace of God. The things that have helped me over the years to cope are Al anon, this website, my trust in God and my constant turning my sons over to Him whenever I worry about them But I also have to say through Al anon that I learned to change myself and to stop focusing my every waking thought on them. Just like with my husband, I became addicted to their addictions. I didn't matter and all that did was their well-being and comfort. I cared more than they did, although they surely grumbled a lot, I know I still cared more because I was the only one trying to make their lives better. Things may never change and/or they may improve slightly for your son, but the only sure-fire bet of anyone changing is you. It's your choice but it is not magical and in the beginning it almost hurts your heart and brain to remove your every waking thought of them. It feels wrong and uncaring as a parent but as you get stronger and surround yourself with those things that will strengthen you, you will be able to set boundaries and keep them. Remember it's self-care and not selfishness. You matter too. Sending prayers and hugs. [/QUOTE]
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For those whose children have mental issues, where to start getting help?
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