Wow, boy this post hit home. I know I don't come around often. I always lurk. I never have much good advice to give, but I read hoping that I can find some for myself. Which by the way, I have on many occassions. But I just wanted to write to let you know that I know exactly how you feel. I live this every dya. My son, who is 20, does not do herion, but I know he takes pills, usually xanex. I never catch him doing it, but we know right! It's been hard on my whole family and I do know that I am an enabler, but for the life of me I cannot throw him out. I feel the same way you do, where will he go, what will he do, he has no education, he has no job, he was severly injured and is still healing he lost feeling in his two fingers (put his arm thru a window and nearly died) I thought that would wake him up and it didnt. Some days he is great, during the week, is trying places now to call to go back to school, I'm estatic about this, but how long will it last????
I've done lots of things people tell me to do, and it never worked out and then some people get mad at me for not listening to their advice. I just don't get that? I do try and am doing my best, but no one knows your life better than yourself as you are the one living it. I am now trying to get my courage up to go to an AlAnon meeting, I'm hoping this will help me too, but I'm a big chicken, I'm very shy around people I don't know face to face. It's hard for me to do this, but one day I will I know I will because I know deep down this might help me.
I've called the police on my son many times, they tell me that since he lives with me and that is his legal residence I would have to take him to court to have him evicted (out of my own home). He won't leave on his own. But then I think of the same things you said in your post, him being out there cold, hungry, maybe dieing. I could not bare this in my brain, then I think of my other boys, is it fair to them, is it fair to me. It's so helpless hopless sometimes.
I know I'm rambling and I have no great advice, but I just wanted to tell you that I know what you are going thru. I do not judge, but I feel what you feel. Just know that you are not alone.
Your post hit me right smack in the chest... and I just felt that need to reply. I haven't posted about my son in a long time. I see some good things so far, like him looking into schools. Maybe this is a start, I hope really I do hope.
Maybe those meetings will help us both, I just need to get the courage to go.