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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 664782" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thank you, Copa. I appreciate your thoughts. I actually do believe in reincarnation so I believe we spiral on and on. I'm simply in my own way trying to say good-bye in this particular lifetime. I am sure these people will be with me forever. Every experience we have that is significant is with us forever, but often it and they can be so far in the back of our minds that they no longer influence us. I have been in that place with my FOO. At one time my sister did not contact me for three years and I didn't expect to ever hear from her again and I was ok with that. I forgot. Not forgot forgot like you have amnesia. I simply just did not care or think about her and I know that will happen again.</p><p></p><p>Tomorrow I have therapy with Awesome Therapist and I am going to see what she thinks about my idea. I really like the idea of a kind and gentle good-bye to those who mattered so much once, but whom I have to stop analyzing and figuring out. The truth is, I never will. If they keep overthinking, they never will figure me out either.They have zilch understanding of why I struggled more than they may have (not sure they didn't struggle just as much in their own ways, but not my circus, not my monkeys). Analyzing is guessing. That's all it is.</p><p></p><p>I am starting to see it as a waste of time and I have a lot I still want to do and have been blessed with a nice family of my own. And my family keeps growing with grands and now Jumper's new boyfriend...he is older than her other ones and she is with him all the time so he is with us all the time so it's just another great person in our lives. His family is very friendly to us too and is including us in their get togethers, which is a first. Her other boyfriends did not have families who wanted to get to know us.</p><p></p><p>Sonic's best friend is also often in our lives. His parents are also acquaintances whom we value very much.</p><p></p><p>I couldn't have asked for a better ending to my story and it's not over yet.</p><p></p><p>With work, hobbies, and now my new class and then volunteering as a peer counselor, when am I going to even have time to think about people who are no longer in my life? This is how I see it and I hope the same thing happens to you...too busy to analyze and mourn and feel sad...sounds so exciting for you and M. I am so thrilled for you. Traveling is something I have never been able to do, but this life just wasn't meant for traveling, I guess. I would like it, but next life maybe <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>Thanks again for your thoughtful post and keep posting. I'm not stopping. I'm just scaling back on the FOO members of my life who are still alive on the oft-chance that I have the power to hurt them. Healing was my intention. I didn't know they had access to this site. Now I feel so much better that there doesn't seem to be a need to discuss my still living FOO. That means mother and Uncle Vain are still fair game, but...the reason I was put here on earth this time is not finished. I have more work to do and I can't be bogged down with thoughts of difficult times with people who never understood that I have a really good heart, but many differences to overcome. And I did. Without them. I hope they heal too, if it is needed.</p><p></p><p>Thank YOU for understanding, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Talk to you very soon here <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> And, hey, I am always available to PM with anyone who wants to talk!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 664782, member: 1550"] Thank you, Copa. I appreciate your thoughts. I actually do believe in reincarnation so I believe we spiral on and on. I'm simply in my own way trying to say good-bye in this particular lifetime. I am sure these people will be with me forever. Every experience we have that is significant is with us forever, but often it and they can be so far in the back of our minds that they no longer influence us. I have been in that place with my FOO. At one time my sister did not contact me for three years and I didn't expect to ever hear from her again and I was ok with that. I forgot. Not forgot forgot like you have amnesia. I simply just did not care or think about her and I know that will happen again. Tomorrow I have therapy with Awesome Therapist and I am going to see what she thinks about my idea. I really like the idea of a kind and gentle good-bye to those who mattered so much once, but whom I have to stop analyzing and figuring out. The truth is, I never will. If they keep overthinking, they never will figure me out either.They have zilch understanding of why I struggled more than they may have (not sure they didn't struggle just as much in their own ways, but not my circus, not my monkeys). Analyzing is guessing. That's all it is. I am starting to see it as a waste of time and I have a lot I still want to do and have been blessed with a nice family of my own. And my family keeps growing with grands and now Jumper's new boyfriend...he is older than her other ones and she is with him all the time so he is with us all the time so it's just another great person in our lives. His family is very friendly to us too and is including us in their get togethers, which is a first. Her other boyfriends did not have families who wanted to get to know us. Sonic's best friend is also often in our lives. His parents are also acquaintances whom we value very much. I couldn't have asked for a better ending to my story and it's not over yet. With work, hobbies, and now my new class and then volunteering as a peer counselor, when am I going to even have time to think about people who are no longer in my life? This is how I see it and I hope the same thing happens to you...too busy to analyze and mourn and feel sad...sounds so exciting for you and M. I am so thrilled for you. Traveling is something I have never been able to do, but this life just wasn't meant for traveling, I guess. I would like it, but next life maybe ;) Thanks again for your thoughtful post and keep posting. I'm not stopping. I'm just scaling back on the FOO members of my life who are still alive on the oft-chance that I have the power to hurt them. Healing was my intention. I didn't know they had access to this site. Now I feel so much better that there doesn't seem to be a need to discuss my still living FOO. That means mother and Uncle Vain are still fair game, but...the reason I was put here on earth this time is not finished. I have more work to do and I can't be bogged down with thoughts of difficult times with people who never understood that I have a really good heart, but many differences to overcome. And I did. Without them. I hope they heal too, if it is needed. Thank YOU for understanding, Copa. Talk to you very soon here ;) And, hey, I am always available to PM with anyone who wants to talk!!! [/QUOTE]
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