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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664851" data-attributes="member: 18958">Mine was, too. Gorgeous and sexy, actually, into her 80's.  Well, is that any different than my telling you all that my sister is a narcissist with psychopathic traits?Yes. They call that compulsion to repeat, in psychology. We will seek out a trauma to gain mastery over it, and confront it over and over until we do. That is why you see women or men choose the same kind of flawed partner. There is something they seek out to heal. Even if they end up engaging into the same trauma, they will keep at it.I do not know why I copied this quote, but I will comment here anyway. As I write this Joe Biden has been contemplating entering the race for the democratic nomination. So, a couple of days ago it started. Damning by faint praise. A female Hillary supporter said something like this: We all love old Joe. We have loved him for generations and generations. He is revered and esteemed. I just don't think he can excite the young who are the future. And with that, Joe is under the bus.The reality is that the exact opposite is true. Biden polls very well with millennial voters and less good with the older ones who think he is bumbling.I was the black sheep who inconveniently became conventionally successful to a point.So if I think back to the last couple of times I saw my sister, what did she do: She had an honest conversation with me about my hair and how it is aging (at that time graying and pulled back into a pony tail); inviting me for Christmas but telling me I needed to stay in a hotel; and the last time, you all know what she did to M and I. Try to humiliate us, marginalize and overtly disrespect us. Trying to depersonalize M, and me with him.I am enraged at the memory of it.  This is the person who pretends to stand with the poor and the disenfranchised. Yet as their attorney called her clients garbage.And to squelch her sister tries to emasculate her mate who happens to be foreign and undocumented.  What kind of person does this? A very, very out of control...and possibly evil one. Well this transitions very nicely to the next:This reminds me of the relationship of my mother and her sister, my aunt:First, Cedar, I will comment upon how I see this: It sickens me that you would allow yourself to be used like this.To offer refuge in this way is to extend trust. It is based upon reciprocity and safety. I have not read one thing in my time on this board that demonstrated safety, trust or reciprocity by your sister towards you.I do not think my sister has the emotional intelligence to anticipate the precise emotions she wants to induce in her victims.I think she has intent to win. I think she has intent to pin down and put down. I think she has intent to evoke in the other the sense they are her victims. I think she has the intent and necessity in fact, to evoke in others the acceptance of her superiority over them and her absolute control over the situation. My sister plots to disarm her opponents and to create conditions where she is safe and has the advantage. Then she exults. And she preys.These are ways my sister sees her world and her place in it:Low rent. You are low and without options. She is superior.I gamed them. She deprived her adversaries of negotiating room. She took from them what they wanted and needed.  On purpose she destroyed them. Through her superior skills and attributes. And she wants them to know that she did it to them on purpose. Because she could and she wanted to.When somebody deliberately tries to trick you, to dehumanize you, to victimize you and to cut off your humanity, the normal person will of course feel: Hurt. Confused. Alone. Excluded. Humiliated. Victimized. Degraded.They will wonder: Why, what is it about me that would make my sister treat me like this?Except for this: it is not normal to set about to destroy anybody or to put them at a disadvantage. Only predators do that.She was after the win, Cedar. To tell you that she had put you in her sight as the victim and to make you her prey. If you had not known, there would have been no kill.Cedar, I do not think we feel lonely for them. I know I miss my sister. But I cannot remember one time in 40 years that did not involve some kind of wound or degradation at her hand. I miss the idea of a sister...but not my own sister. With whom I can never expect a sisterly relationship. Because she will always inflict pain or humiliation...because that is how she operates.I sure do not tell her. What would be the point? Stay out of the way and get a pit bull attorney.</blockquote>

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