First of all, I think the use of ISS ("In School Suspension", though I'm pretty sure all of us here are pretty familiar with it) as anything more than a 1 day punishment is pretty much pointless bullshit. Even just for one day, most of our kids are probably scarcely able to tolerate it.
My difficult child (14 yr old teen boy, ADHD and possible ODD, though we thankfully don't often have compliance issues at home) has had plenty of ISS throughout the years, though now that he is in high school (9th grade), he pretty much refuses to sit through it. He will almost always walk out (or request to) or be kicked out, and spend the day in the Assistant Principal's office area doing his work instead. He is on a 504 with an IEP assessment in process, otherwise they probably wouldn't allow him to sit and do his work in another area.
Our school district gives ISS for anything from too many tardies to larger behavioral/disciplinary issues, and I absolutely dread it every time I know my son has it ahead of him. I cannot recall the last time he made it through successfully. He is doing so much better in his classes the past several weeks (abilify and concerta seem to be showing positive results), but has gotten into some trouble joining his friends in a couple of fights between classes (the school "friends" are something we are being very vigilant about).
The thing is, due to his repeated behavioral issues, he now has a DAEP placement (alternative school) for the minimum placement allowed of 4 weeks. Honestly, I advocated for this because his SPED/IEP referral will be in process while he is there, it should allow the situation with the groups of kids fighting at school to settle down, hopefully allow my son to continue to stabilize on the relatively new medications, and his counselor is pushing for the IEP to be in place when he returns to the main campus.
Now, my older son (16, 11th grade), who may have a bit of the obnoxious teenager syndrome but has never got into trouble in high school, has found himself in trouble after hitting another kid in the face in a classroom disagreement. Extremely poor and impulsive decision which he regretted immediately. Despite it being his first time getting in trouble, he was given a DAEP (alternate school) placement for the minimum of 4 weeks. He was devastated and vowed he wouldn't go. We explored other options but they were all too complicated and may have resulted in him losing credit for the semester, so I finally was able to reason with him and advise him to go and get the 4 weeks over with and move on from there. There's more punishment to be had: although he hit the kid just one time (again, he was definitely in the wrong and deserves consequences) and I don't believe there was an injury, the parents filed an assault charge on him. So now we have that to deal with.
My typically difficult child/teen (14) started his DAEP placement today. It's honestly a relief because he's out of ISS limbo, which he refused to sit through so of course the school is calling or emailing me daily (not unusual anyway).
My older, usually not in trouble teen (16) starts his tomorrow. Today, after his second day in ISS, I got an email from his AP that he too would not remain in ISS and had to work out of the front office.
How embarrassing. I thought they'd see that I at least had one kid who could act right.
Anyway, so with regard to the ISS limbo: When kids are awaiting DAEP placement, or the school is trying to figure out their punishment, they sit in limbo in ISS until it's all figured out. My younger teen told me one of the kids that got in trouble along with him for fighting was told he may be in ISS for 2-3 weeks while they try to figure out if he's going to DAEP. What is the point of this?
Can any of you relate? Do your kids struggle with ISS as a punishment, or outright refuse to comply? Have you dealt with DAEP placements?
I am already so constantly stressed with my typically difficult 14 yr old son (though he's back to his usual happy, compliant, respectful self at home after a brief moody stint on depakote - though it seemed to be helping at school). All along, I've been so grateful my 16 yr old doesn't get in trouble at school. Now, suddenly, I'm getting calls about his behavior - though it all stems from the one incident. Sigh.
There is some background - the fact that though he (16 yr old) played as a starter on both freshman and jv basketball teams at school his 9th and 10th grade years, and suddenly and without warning didn't make the team his junior year - this happened just a few weeks ago. So I think he's in sort of an identity crisis, even if he doesn't know it. I do have a suspicion his not making the team could have more to do with politics now that his younger brother is at the same school and has had so many issues (that I know the coaches are very aware of - they've made comments about younger son to my older's sons athletics class, trying to make an example out of 'kids who act like that')...After a few days of sleeping on it, I sent the coach a very polite email asking for constructive comments on why he wasn't selected so he knows what to work on if he wants to try again his Senior year. The coach told me they look at grades (his lowest was an 89), behavior (his conduct in basketball was marked as "Excellent" and he hadn't been in trouble before) and skill (he was a starter and had very little bench time the past two years). So I think now 16 yr old is feeling ostracized, rightly or not, and questioning who he really is, if not a school athlete? It's suddenly a pretty tough time for him, and it's showing.
The difficult child (14) was very much looking forward to trying out for the team also, as he's always excelled in basketball, but ended up being suspending on try outs day. I'm almost relieved now, because I realize they never would have let him play.
Anyway, now I'm double worried and exhausted. And I just want to know how your kids deal with school punishment like ISS? DAEP? Success stories if your kids are older now (THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE, BRING THEM ON!).
I know I've covered a lot of ground here. Stream of consciousness. Thanks for reading.
My difficult child (14 yr old teen boy, ADHD and possible ODD, though we thankfully don't often have compliance issues at home) has had plenty of ISS throughout the years, though now that he is in high school (9th grade), he pretty much refuses to sit through it. He will almost always walk out (or request to) or be kicked out, and spend the day in the Assistant Principal's office area doing his work instead. He is on a 504 with an IEP assessment in process, otherwise they probably wouldn't allow him to sit and do his work in another area.
Our school district gives ISS for anything from too many tardies to larger behavioral/disciplinary issues, and I absolutely dread it every time I know my son has it ahead of him. I cannot recall the last time he made it through successfully. He is doing so much better in his classes the past several weeks (abilify and concerta seem to be showing positive results), but has gotten into some trouble joining his friends in a couple of fights between classes (the school "friends" are something we are being very vigilant about).
The thing is, due to his repeated behavioral issues, he now has a DAEP placement (alternative school) for the minimum placement allowed of 4 weeks. Honestly, I advocated for this because his SPED/IEP referral will be in process while he is there, it should allow the situation with the groups of kids fighting at school to settle down, hopefully allow my son to continue to stabilize on the relatively new medications, and his counselor is pushing for the IEP to be in place when he returns to the main campus.
Now, my older son (16, 11th grade), who may have a bit of the obnoxious teenager syndrome but has never got into trouble in high school, has found himself in trouble after hitting another kid in the face in a classroom disagreement. Extremely poor and impulsive decision which he regretted immediately. Despite it being his first time getting in trouble, he was given a DAEP (alternate school) placement for the minimum of 4 weeks. He was devastated and vowed he wouldn't go. We explored other options but they were all too complicated and may have resulted in him losing credit for the semester, so I finally was able to reason with him and advise him to go and get the 4 weeks over with and move on from there. There's more punishment to be had: although he hit the kid just one time (again, he was definitely in the wrong and deserves consequences) and I don't believe there was an injury, the parents filed an assault charge on him. So now we have that to deal with.
My typically difficult child/teen (14) started his DAEP placement today. It's honestly a relief because he's out of ISS limbo, which he refused to sit through so of course the school is calling or emailing me daily (not unusual anyway).
My older, usually not in trouble teen (16) starts his tomorrow. Today, after his second day in ISS, I got an email from his AP that he too would not remain in ISS and had to work out of the front office.
How embarrassing. I thought they'd see that I at least had one kid who could act right.
Anyway, so with regard to the ISS limbo: When kids are awaiting DAEP placement, or the school is trying to figure out their punishment, they sit in limbo in ISS until it's all figured out. My younger teen told me one of the kids that got in trouble along with him for fighting was told he may be in ISS for 2-3 weeks while they try to figure out if he's going to DAEP. What is the point of this?
Can any of you relate? Do your kids struggle with ISS as a punishment, or outright refuse to comply? Have you dealt with DAEP placements?
I am already so constantly stressed with my typically difficult 14 yr old son (though he's back to his usual happy, compliant, respectful self at home after a brief moody stint on depakote - though it seemed to be helping at school). All along, I've been so grateful my 16 yr old doesn't get in trouble at school. Now, suddenly, I'm getting calls about his behavior - though it all stems from the one incident. Sigh.
There is some background - the fact that though he (16 yr old) played as a starter on both freshman and jv basketball teams at school his 9th and 10th grade years, and suddenly and without warning didn't make the team his junior year - this happened just a few weeks ago. So I think he's in sort of an identity crisis, even if he doesn't know it. I do have a suspicion his not making the team could have more to do with politics now that his younger brother is at the same school and has had so many issues (that I know the coaches are very aware of - they've made comments about younger son to my older's sons athletics class, trying to make an example out of 'kids who act like that')...After a few days of sleeping on it, I sent the coach a very polite email asking for constructive comments on why he wasn't selected so he knows what to work on if he wants to try again his Senior year. The coach told me they look at grades (his lowest was an 89), behavior (his conduct in basketball was marked as "Excellent" and he hadn't been in trouble before) and skill (he was a starter and had very little bench time the past two years). So I think now 16 yr old is feeling ostracized, rightly or not, and questioning who he really is, if not a school athlete? It's suddenly a pretty tough time for him, and it's showing.
The difficult child (14) was very much looking forward to trying out for the team also, as he's always excelled in basketball, but ended up being suspending on try outs day. I'm almost relieved now, because I realize they never would have let him play.
Anyway, now I'm double worried and exhausted. And I just want to know how your kids deal with school punishment like ISS? DAEP? Success stories if your kids are older now (THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE, BRING THEM ON!).
I know I've covered a lot of ground here. Stream of consciousness. Thanks for reading.
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