Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 715450" data-attributes="member: 1233">What is this work accomplishing?&nbsp; Does he need this work to actually learn the concepts, like an essay to demonstrate that he can write one, or is it more busywork&nbsp; like a bunch of math problems?I had a son who would not do homework.&nbsp; We finally wrote into his IEP that he was not allowed to have homework.&nbsp; Ever.&nbsp; His teachers loathed me, but I could not have cared less.&nbsp; Most of it was busywork to&nbsp; prove that they assigned homework, not to really teach my kid.&nbsp; My kid already knew the concepts.&nbsp; If it is a sheet of math problems, usually the hardest ones are at the bottom.&nbsp; If he can do the bottom row, to demonstrate he knows the concepts, and he gets them all correct, he doesn't have to do the rest because he has demonstrated his knowledge.&nbsp; Work this into his IEP.Your brother has already spent the whole day in school.&nbsp; He is overwhelmed and truly, deeply, honestly NEEDS the evening to decompress.&nbsp; If he does not have it, if he has to spend more time on schoolwork, he probably feels he is going to explode or have something equally awful happen.&nbsp; He just cannot tell you this because he isn't fully able to express his feeling to himself, much less to you.His educational plan, or IEP, needs to be redone to eliminate homework.&nbsp; It will solve all of these issues.&nbsp; Or to eliminate most homework.&nbsp; The other option is for your parents to just decide to drop the battle.&nbsp; I did that one year also.&nbsp; I decided it was my son's problem and not mine.&nbsp; His special education teacher promised it was her battle and he would do homework in his hour in her room, a sort of study hall.&nbsp; It made life at home much easier.Has anyone ever picked a calm time and asked your brother why he won't do homework?&nbsp; What the big deal is?&nbsp; Why he makes such a fuss over a 5 minute worksheet?&nbsp; Asked it at a time when he does not have any homework to do?&nbsp; It needs to be a neutral, calm, pleasant time.&nbsp; You need to figure out what the big stressor is, why it is causing him such a big problem.&nbsp; People with autism don't cause a fuss for no reason, but their reasons often are not obvious to other people. You have to get them to explain their thinking before you can figure out a way to fix the problem.&nbsp; I think you also need to talk to you parents and explain that you need some time with your mom.&nbsp; That even though homework may be a big crisis, you need to be able to have some time with her.&nbsp; Parents are not perfect, and sometimes we need to be reminded if we are not meeting our children's needs.&nbsp; We would far rather have our kids say something than have them need us but not say something.&nbsp; Your parents and brother are very lucky to have you.&nbsp; It isn't every sister who would go looking for a solution to a problem like this.&nbsp; Many sisters would just whine about it or throw a fit about not having time with Mom to do what they want or about losing those extras.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 715450, member: 1233"] What is this work accomplishing? Does he need this work to actually learn the concepts, like an essay to demonstrate that he can write one, or is it more busywork like a bunch of math problems? I had a son who would not do homework. We finally wrote into his IEP that he was not allowed to have homework. Ever. His teachers loathed me, but I could not have cared less. Most of it was busywork to prove that they assigned homework, not to really teach my kid. My kid already knew the concepts. If it is a sheet of math problems, usually the hardest ones are at the bottom. If he can do the bottom row, to demonstrate he knows the concepts, and he gets them all correct, he doesn't have to do the rest because he has demonstrated his knowledge. Work this into his IEP. Your brother has already spent the whole day in school. He is overwhelmed and truly, deeply, honestly NEEDS the evening to decompress. If he does not have it, if he has to spend more time on schoolwork, he probably feels he is going to explode or have something equally awful happen. He just cannot tell you this because he isn't fully able to express his feeling to himself, much less to you. His educational plan, or IEP, needs to be redone to eliminate homework. It will solve all of these issues. Or to eliminate most homework. The other option is for your parents to just decide to drop the battle. I did that one year also. I decided it was my son's problem and not mine. His special education teacher promised it was her battle and he would do homework in his hour in her room, a sort of study hall. It made life at home much easier. Has anyone ever picked a calm time and asked your brother why he won't do homework? What the big deal is? Why he makes such a fuss over a 5 minute worksheet? Asked it at a time when he does not have any homework to do? It needs to be a neutral, calm, pleasant time. You need to figure out what the big stressor is, why it is causing him such a big problem. People with autism don't cause a fuss for no reason, but their reasons often are not obvious to other people. You have to get them to explain their thinking before you can figure out a way to fix the problem. I think you also need to talk to you parents and explain that you need some time with your mom. That even though homework may be a big crisis, you need to be able to have some time with her. Parents are not perfect, and sometimes we need to be reminded if we are not meeting our children's needs. We would far rather have our kids say something than have them need us but not say something. Your parents and brother are very lucky to have you. It isn't every sister who would go looking for a solution to a problem like this. Many sisters would just whine about it or throw a fit about not having time with Mom to do what they want or about losing those extras. [/QUOTE]

Verification