Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 764796" data-attributes="member: 19522">Family of origin has a monumental impact on us all. Some are able to rise above a dysfunctional upbringing, others remain scarred. &nbsp;This was what he was taught. I’m sure the same goes for your hubs. &nbsp;That old saying that blood runs thicker than water. In my hubs case he knew that how he was raised was toxic and he worked really hard to make a better life for his family. He did not speak much about his past, most of what I know came from his older sister and things I experienced through the years. I always felt that the secrets he kept inside were slowly poisoning him. I’m sorry Newstart, that is a tough load to bear.From what I know of hubs background, the kids were brought up to keep things to themselves. They were all scared to death of their father. He was well loved amongst his peers, he treated friends better than his family. Secrets. Boys raised in our days were taught to be tough, to bury their feelings. My husband was more a doer than a talker. He did not like discussing feelings so I was left to guess at what was going on inside of his head. I’m sure he felt that was invasive too, he grew up keeping things to himself. That’s a part of attachment disorder and difficulty trusting people. Hubs kept the past demons to himself. Thank you for your kindness Newstart. My daughters were deep into their addiction before hubs passed, I’m sure that is a sore spot for them buried by drug use. I wish they would straighten out too, but that is completely up to them. My job is to try to lift myself up and find peace no matter what. It’s not easy, but worth the effort. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for them to wake up. I hope you are able to find peace despite the challenges you face. Love and hugsNew Leaf</blockquote>

[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 764796, member: 19522"] Family of origin has a monumental impact on us all. Some are able to rise above a dysfunctional upbringing, others remain scarred. This was what he was taught. I’m sure the same goes for your hubs. That old saying that blood runs thicker than water. In my hubs case he knew that how he was raised was toxic and he worked really hard to make a better life for his family. He did not speak much about his past, most of what I know came from his older sister and things I experienced through the years. I always felt that the secrets he kept inside were slowly poisoning him. I’m sorry Newstart, that is a tough load to bear. From what I know of hubs background, the kids were brought up to keep things to themselves. They were all scared to death of their father. He was well loved amongst his peers, he treated friends better than his family. Secrets. Boys raised in our days were taught to be tough, to bury their feelings. My husband was more a doer than a talker. He did not like discussing feelings so I was left to guess at what was going on inside of his head. I’m sure he felt that was invasive too, he grew up keeping things to himself. That’s a part of attachment disorder and difficulty trusting people. Hubs kept the past demons to himself. Thank you for your kindness Newstart. My daughters were deep into their addiction before hubs passed, I’m sure that is a sore spot for them buried by drug use. I wish they would straighten out too, but that is completely up to them. My job is to try to lift myself up and find peace no matter what. It’s not easy, but worth the effort. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for them to wake up. I hope you are able to find peace despite the challenges you face. Love and hugs New Leaf [/QUOTE]

Verification