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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753633" data-attributes="member: 18958">My son fell prey to something like this, with a focus less on the political and more on the apocalyptic. I forbade him to speak of such things to me and on the phone would hang up. Mainly his interest was the Illuminati but also Alt Right views with words like "globalists." My worldview and politics is likely similar to your own. I found it all scary and abhorrent and nothing I wanted to support. But I sought to support my son.I want to say that he is less aggressive with these views, now. Only in times of stress do these views come out. But I insisted that he would not express this toxicity near me. M has a different way of responding. He does not take it seriously, but is indifferent to this kind of talk. He sees this not as political but as my son's spiritual world view. M sees it as everybody has their own understanding of G-d and the right to pursue G-d in the manner that they need. Perhaps the ability to speak to M who is tolerant, allowed my son to get distance from these beliefs.I agree with this. I think my son had little in his life that gave him self-esteem and a sense of efficacy. I think this is part of the toxicity of White Supremacy, which draws strength from alienated and powerless people.I will say that my son is biracial and I am racially ambiguous. Which is to say I choose to not define myself by a racial category. I never believed my son was against any racial category, (except perhaps, my own ethnic group) but he has struggled with race since late teen years. Which is one reason we lived for a time in a culture with lots of mixed race people. My son felt there to be a cultural "placeholder" for him.What is happening in this country (and world) now is really triggering to people. Why would our kids not be triggered?I agree with this. It seems like DS is following through in important ways. From my own experience I believe that there is a way to continue to support our children as they grow up and hopefully move beyond their "difficult" times.M and I took different tacks. I'm not clear which one was the better or more effective. He and I have different strengths and weaknesses. We could give different things. My son is doing better across the board, which is not to say he's doing well. The bottom line is that I think we have to be true to ourselves. Which is to say to have loving boundaries. We can't give what we don't have. On the other hand, how do we grow unless we allow our growing place to be challenged.You have really worked hard to be there for this young man.  You took a big risk. You came through for him in a big way. I remember your decision making process in allowing him to move home. You confronted and worked through your concerns. It sounds like it was the right call for all around. Now in this stage of the process, there is again a call for reassessment and response.What I was unable to do with my own son was to have a dialog with him about this all. I was too triggered. M did. I think this perhaps was the better approach. M and I are each of us despised minorities, he is one type, and I am another. We are each of us among the targeted groups. I think that openness to dialog is key, although I could not do it. But I could stay in relationship to my son, and was able to stay supportive and connected, inconsistently so, but still in the game. But there were times in my heart of hearts when I worried that he could be vulnerable to evil people who would target others. But that has not been realized. He is more and more returning to his compassion, at least in relation to us.I have great confidence in you Bloodied. In your ability and willingness to seek and to find a place of loving responsibility. I am glad you posted.</blockquote>

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