Childofmine
Last Activity:
Feb 16, 2017 at 7:22 AM
Joined:
Jan 6, 2014
Messages:
2,349
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113
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Gender:
Female

Childofmine

trying to do this thing one day at a time, Female

Staff Member
Childofmine was last seen:
Feb 16, 2017 at 7:22 AM
    1. Hopeful97
      Hopeful97
      I'm new at this and could not figure out how to respond to you on my thread, you talked about feeling numb thank you for your words. Your words are so true to what we are going through. Thank you.
    2. Sunlight
      Sunlight
      Your posts remind me of my own history with my son. He is now 30, hasn't been incarcerated for over 5 yrs. I think he finally grew a brain...it took a while! ;-)

      Congrats on your recovering from enabling. I also read Boundaries and it opened my eyes to my relationship with my son. Very wise words that you post to others! God bless!
      1. Hopeful97 likes this.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Female
    I'm here because of my 25yo son, and been dealing with all of this in full living color for the past five years. Before that he was just a difficult child, immature, slow to grow up, took a lot of prodding, but he graduated h.s., four years on the soccer team, had a part-time job, etc. Kept it between the lines for the most part. Flunked out of college first semester, started going downhill fast, drinking, arrests, prescription rx, pot, multiple stints in jail, kicked out of the house, kicked out of dad's house (finally), multiple rehabs, homeless 5x, 2 felonies for selling), nothing and nowhere to go. Exhusband finally stopped in June 2013. Son still doesn't think he has a problem, doesn't want to go to rehab, etc. Facing four years in prison if he gets arrested again for anything.

    About me. I have slowly gotten it. Working hard to change, to stop, to focus on me and my life. I get it that he has to want it. I get it that I have to stay out of the way. No money, no help, no nothing, no visits in jail, no money on jail account. I still get confused and still will cave when he is his relentless self and I get scared. I am working to get past that. Doing better every day and all of this is helping me in all of my relationships. I am a better person than I ever was but this has been the hardest thing I have ever been through. Marriage failed after 29 years, ex-husband an alcoholic now in recovery. I got a taste of it then but nothing like what I have been through with my son. I credit Al-Anon with the change in me and the fact that today I can be grateful, happy, calm and more purposeful with my own life than ever before regardless of what my son is doing---most of the time.

    Update: Son has two years+ of steady progress. Is working as an electrician. Has his own place. Pays his own bills except health insurance---his dad and I help with that right now. He is off probation July 2017. He is now going to therapy (on his own, his idea not mine or anybody else's) and is now taking anti depressants again (on his own, his idea not mine or anybody else's). I pray every day still that his life continues to move forward---whatever that means for him.

    Signature

    55+ small biz owner, doing really well and continuing the work on me
    55+ husband, great man, solid rock of support
    30 easy child son, doing great, has full-time professional job, he's a married man!
    26 Difficult Child son, working full time as electrician-in-training, in an apartment since late October 2014, working since early September 2014. Paid off his county probation and is now free of that. If he gets arrested one more time, he serves his full sentence of 4 years and that seems to be a deterrent (finally). He has been in jail 8 or 9 times, has two felonies, has been homeless 5 different times, owes fines to the state but now seems to be more serious. Is not playing the victim and is taking responsibility for himself. Is sweet and kind to be around. Says thank you frequently. We are trying hard not to enable him. We love him very much.
    husband has two daughters, one 33 year old, divorced, no kids
    one 21 year old, graduated from college in December, engaged, going to law school in August
    Emily the border collie

    Life is good, and I am very grateful.
    Great quote: Don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do. This is one of the most important sayings in my life.
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