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Thanks for sharing your experience and the info on guardianship vs having a payee. Our son has lived on his own at points in the past and I don't see why he would require a guardian if he continues the treatment they started him on in the hospital. If he decides to stop treatment then you are...

Hi Susiestar, Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Apparently it is common amongst our NAMI group for parents to to get guardianship of their adult children to control their medication/medical decisions and their finances. I don't want that control over his life, but they were saying...

Recoveringenabler, Thank you for clarifying for me. I think what you said about not being able to tolerate the consequences of son's choices is indeed a big part of what drives me to feel we need to take him back home and care for him, even though it has never worked when we've done it in the...

Hi Recoveringenabler, Please forgive me, I just want to be sure I understand what you wrote. Do you belive it is possible for a mentally ill person who won't/can't accept that they have an illness to be independent and make some sort of a life? Do the people in your family get treatment...

I hope I didn't discourage anyone by what I said about NAMI. It has been a place where we felt understood and safe. RecoveringEnabler you are right, we need to take from groups like NAMI what helps and feels right and leave the rest. I was just feeling filled with self doubt and guilt after...

Jabberwockey, thank you, you are right. I need to remind myself that there is no one "right thing" for a parent to do. I think what is shaking my resolve is something called Anosognosia, which NAMI explains: "When someone rejects a diagnosis of mental illness, it’s tempting to say that he's...

recoveringenabler, you are exactly right. We had decided after the last disasterous attempt last summer at having him live here that we would not. It is definitely the fear, obligation and guilt that shakes that resolve when we feel we SHOULD sacrifice our comfort/happiness to give him a...

Littleboylost, that is really helpful. If we let him come home will he be safer? Maybe in the short term because he will have shelter/warmth/food & we can watch his every move while nagging him to stick with his treatment, but does that get him any closer to being able to take care of himself...

SomewhereOutThere, apparently she has engaged a lawyer and had him draw up provisions to care for her son after she passes. Her primary advice to me was to get a lawyer and have him draw up papers to give my husband and I control over our son's medical decisions. It is great that those are...

Hi Tired Mama, Thank you so much for responding. I am in a very low place right now. The woman I spoke with from NAMI was a parent of a mentally ill adult child who has taken training to teach classes for teaching families how to cope. Unfortunately that class won't begin for a couple of...

Our bipolar son is getting out of the hospital in another town 3 hours away today. We had decided that we didn't want him to live with us for our own mental well being and I have been trying to come to terms with it. I've gotten strength from many of the posts here. However, a lady from our...

Our 32 year old son is still in the hospital (as far as we know) and from his ex I found out that he sounds a bit better and is taking the medications. I want to be encouraged, but we've been here before and it doesn't last. At least it isn't bad news. I have started the process online to get...

Hello all, sorry to have gone silent yesterday. I have felt so miserable to the point of feeling physically ill that I tried to take a little break from talking about what is going on, even if I can't take a break from thinking about it. I went shopping for something nice to make for...

Tired mama, Your kind wishes, support, prayer, and understanding are more than enough. I wish all good things for you and your son as you go through this same struggle.

Thank you Recoveringenabler, just the idea of wagons circled around me is a comfort! Thank you too for the link to find a good therapist. I wouldn't even know where to begin to look. You are so right about the FOG. My head is full of it right now! Just an update, apparently his ex took him...

Carp_enough, Thank you for your kind words and prayers and for sharing your struggles with your son. I understand about not having a diagnosis, our son was an adult the first time he was hospitalized and they wouldn't tell us anything. Like your son, ours refuses treatment or even the idea...

Copabanana, I wish they would have held him but I guess since he checked in voluntarily (on my husband's insistence) and wasn't suicidal, they let him leave. As far as drugs, I know he has smoked pot, and drinks and smokes too much. I don't know if he has self medicated with any other...

Littleboylost, so far he hasn't threatened to harm himself. He is just really "out there" in his behavior and what he says. We are hoping his ex will call the police and they'll take him to the ER & hold him for psychiatric evaluation. We'll see today what she ended up doing.

I hope I'm replying correctly... Thank you so much Recovering enabler, the kindness and concern you and the others who have responded have shown me is a comfort. We are struggling with not only guilt over not letting him come live with us, but also because when he left the facility he walked...

Hello, I am new here but have been reading lots of stories similar to mine so I hope maybe you all can share advice or at least moral support. I feel desperate right now. Our son is 32 and had his first bipolar episode almost 10 years ago. Since then he has been hospitalized several times but...