Me too, my dear friend. It is nearly impossible to do it all the time/very well/consistently.
Maybe it is not to be...completely...between a mother and her child.
But it is still a worthy goal and something to pursue, even knowing we will never get there. Because the more I can let go, the better my life is.
It calls to mind another relationship that I struggle with...off and on...today, struggling with it. My sister, who is 2 years younger than me, and our relationship. I continue to have unmet expectations. In the far past, I would have pushed her hard to give me what I want. Now today, I am still hurt, still disappointed, but I am taking more responsibility, realizing I have expectations at all.
It's not her job to live up to my expectations.
But when you love someone, you care, you want to have a rich relationship with them...and when you try and try and it feels like you are continually rebuffed...or treated carelessly...it's hard.
So today...I shook myself like a wet dog does...and I said, hey, self, it's YOU not Her.
And now I'm trying to accept that.
Ugh. This letting go stuff is always going to be hard.