11 year old daughter refusing to go to school

Megs87

New Member
Please bare with me. I am on a cellphone and have not posted here in a long time. My daughter has many issues that I can discuss with you all in another thread. For the most part she is a normal 11 year old who wants and interested in the same things others her age. She is very behind her peers at school though. She probably just this year started comprehending what she reads. She still struggles big time with reading though. Math is easy for her other than word problems that she has to read and comprehend on top of solving it. Her school has always refused to do any educational testing on her. They love to tell me that they do not have enough data to test on her due to her absences. I promise you all as her mother I know deep down that her refusal for school stems from having ZERO IEPs. She is expected to understand all work just the same as her fellow peers. She gets embarrassed easily and shuts down. I was told that she would have to be at school for 8 weeks straight no tardies or absences for them to test her. I understand how outrageous this sounds but that is not possible at this time. I keep hearing that the school can not refuse testing when its requests by the parent. We are in Louisiana and her school keeps finding ways around it. Have any of you ever dealt with this? I have truancy blowing up my phone and all they want to do is make me pay fines rather than trying to help. I'm scared for my daughter. Getting her to school everyday for 8 weeks straight is not am option at the moment. She is terrified of going where it results in her vomiting in the mornings on the way there. Please only give me your experience with this situation. One of the main reasons why she fears going to school is because of bullying from teachers in the past years and from other students. The other students can clearly see her struggling but the school staff refuses to see it?
 

Megs87

New Member
Sorry for forgetting to include diagnosis. My daughter is ADD/ADHD...ODD... and the a new unheard of diagnosis being looked into is NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) (Non Verbal Learning Disorder ) she does not pick up on non verbal ques and it's extremely confusing and frustrating for her to sort through.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Call the State Dept. Of Pyblic Education and tell them about this. That's what I did. My nephew was tested within days. They also told us the name of a free parent advocate ,(you have to ask for one) and she had sued the school.district successfully for another parent.once. the school was terrified of her and his parents never went to another school meeting without her. My nephew was treated like a prince in school.

So schools in some states dont want to do the work or spend the money that they are supposed to. We have two choices in this situation.
We can put up with it while the child fails or we can go over their head and make them do right. If you have the money, hire a lawyer. Be sure to ask for that parent advocate. Do not do nothing. That ends up with the child getting no help.

I also recommend d getting a private diagnosis. My nephew got his autism diagnosis. from a neuropsycholigist. A good one.

In the end, the school ended up paying for my nephew to go to a school in the district that could help him. They paid for cab fare back and forth too.

Amazing what happens when you don't just think your school district holds all the cards. The Dept. Of Public Education is the big cheese.

I hope this helps.
 

Megs87

New Member
Sorry for forgetting to include diagnosis. My daughter is ADD/ADHD...ODD... and the a new unheard of diagnosis being looked into is NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) (Non Verbal Learning Disorder ) she does not pick up on non verbal ques and it's extremely confusing and frustrating for her to sort through.
Call the State Dept. Of Pyblic Education and tell them about this. That's what I did. My nephew was tested within days. They also told us the name of a free parent advocate ,(you have to ask for one) and she had sued the school.district successfully for another parent.once. the school was terrified of her and his parents never went to another school meeting without her. My nephew was treated like a prince in school.

So schools in some states dont want to do the work or spend the money that they are supposed to. We have two choices in this situation.
We can put up with it while the child fails or we can go over their head and make them do right. If you have the money, hire a lawyer. Be sure to ask for that parent advocate. Do not do nothing. That ends up with the child getting no help.

I also recommend d getting a private diagnosis. My nephew got his autism diagnosis. from a neuropsycholigist. A good one.

In the end, the school ended up paying for my nephew to go to a school in the district that could help him. They paid for cab fare back and forth too.

Amazing what happens when you don't just think your school district holds all the cards. The Dept. Of Public Education is the big cheese.

I hope this helps.
Thank you for this info. I am going to look into it right now. I can not keep doing nothing. I agree doing nothing is only helping her continue to fail.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Just don't let the people away work at your school district scare you. They may try. Also when they tell you to talk to the Superintendent don't do it. They are all one big family winking at one another. Go outside if your school district. The Dept. Of Education should know what they are doing. It's not legal.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Her school has always refused to do any educational testing on her.
They have no right to do this.
ZERO IEPs
How dare they?
I was told that she would have to be at school for 8 weeks straight no tardies or absences for them to test her.
This is ridiculous and grossly illegal.
ADD/ADHD...
My son had an IEP all the way through school based on ADHD alone. He was classified as other health impaired. He had two out of school placements totally a few years in two different counties. That means that the school districts had to pay for private school and transporting him there. He was taken by taxicab from our home in one county to 40 minutes away. Why? Because the Federal Government says that if a school district can't provide the required services they have to pay for another school that does.

Put the request for an emergency IEP in writing. Keep a copy. Every single thing should be documented. There are agencies in big cities that are special education advocates. There may be in your town too. When I encountered impossible schools, I got free legal help. For a couple of times, they sent an attorney with me to the IEP.

If it were me, I would send a copy of this request to the State Department of Education, where you live. Nothing happens if it's not in writing. I would write a brief letter describing the history of attempts to get an IEP and the response of the school. There will be a special education ombudsman. Also call your state senators, and your governor, and ask for an investigation.

I think you have a lawsuit. More than this, this is child abuse.

Another thing you can do is you can get your own evaluation. If you are referred by the pediatrician, I think your insurance company will pay. A regional Children's Hospital will have a child development center, and a very good neuropsychologist to pay for it. They should also have a team with a child psychiatrist and social worker who will assess your child and write out recommendations. If you are armed with your own data and diagnoses, and a statement of your child's needs this will help you advocate for her.

As part of my work I sat on IEP teams. I WAS HORRIFIED at the adversarial attitude and stance towards children's needs. It was brutal. For my own child I fought like a tiger. I am almost embarrassed to remember how I acted. But I am not sorry.

You can do this. There are mothers on this board who have been in the same position. They will help you.

The school staff sees how your daughter is suffering. This is about money. If they acknowledge her needs, they will have to pay for services. If they pay for services for her, they will have to pay for others. It's dollars and cents. It's also abuse. It's also illegal. They are federally required to serve your child. An IEP is a contract to provide services that they can't get out of, once it's in effect, except at successive IEPS.

I just googled Childrens Hospitals in your state. They are in /shreveport Jefferson and New Orleans.
 

good vibes

New Member
In most jurisdictions, her existing diagnoses would compel the school to prepare an IEP. The idea of fining an 11 year old for truancy is lunacy. It's likely time to look for another school. Are you allowed to 'home school' her in the interim? Would this stop the fines?

If you're considering waging a war over the issuance of an IEP, you should be forewarned. Having an IEP doesn't necessarily mean that the school will implement it. They are obligated, but I have a feeling that your school won't. If you're persistent, you might get access to a personal support worker or similar, but that person may not have the credentials to assist someone with HFASD.

In tandem to your current lobbying, you might want to consider hiring a private tutor - or removing her completely from the public system. Sadly, the best resources are usually outside the public school systems. Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) often work better away from the commotion of school and in smaller groups or a one-on-one environment. Having an NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) label will give you more insight into her needs. NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) kids are quite teachable but they learn best when information is presented in an accommodating format. A specialist teaching math may use pictures and photos instead of written words. For reading, she may encourage traditional phonetics (sounding out), over more modern techniques. NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) students do really well when they're allowed to 'talk out' solutions, rather than sit quietly at a desk with a pencil. It's a peculiar title, Non-verbal Learning Disability, NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) kids are very verbal - that's how they learn - by talking and listening. Some jurisdictions offer autism funding to partially cover private costs. Others may offer tax concessions.

If a school isn't committed to special needs, you may find that you're hitting your head on a wall. Some parents hesitate about putting their kids in special classes or schools, but if she's vomiting at the very thought of going to school, it's time for a change.
 
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