MomOfGirls
New Member
Hi everyone. I’m new here. Have been reading posts for a week or so now because my daughter (15) had started seeing a therapist and taking medication. High school started this year and she seemed excited to start and things were going well. Few weeks into the year boyfriend came into the picture. To summarize this - everything changed. Grades became worse and suddenly she asks to see a therapist. We go and after first visit therapist suggests we might want to hospitalize her because daughter could assure her if she had thoughts of harming herself she would come to her dad or I. We talked to daughter and came to an agreement where we that didn’t happen and we’re moving forward. Boyfriend still in the picture but end of the quarter grades were bad and I started getting a little more involved in her business because she was still being withdrawn and coming home from school and napping, having a hard time waking up and not getting homework done. Through some discovery in text messages I found out they had sex. With the threat of hospitalization, the grades and this discovery we told her that for a few weeks - through progress reports that she and boyfriend needed to lay off. This past weekend, I went to her room to give her her medications (she takes them in the morning and usually sleeps late on weekends) and the door was locked. I popped the lock and what do I find? Boyfriend in bed. I won’t go into details of the past couple of days but it hasn’t been pretty and this is what has come out:
Boyfriend has been sneaking into our house multiple times a week!!! Hiding out in her closet when we are still up and checking in on her periodically. Daughter and boyfriend have been INTENTIONALLY trying to get pregnant because she feels that this will force us to have to let them see each other because it’s would be his kid too. Daughter also says that she doesn’t want to be around us. She doesn’t like us. She doesn’t see us as parents. She wants to live with boyfriend and his dad. We have NO CLUE where this is coming from. They have things all worked out according to her how this will play out if she’s pregnant. I am just spinning right now and am pretty much beside myself.
We are attempting to get ahold of boyfriends father to 1) see just what he knows about this relationship and if he’s realized or even cares that his 16 year old son isn’t home multiple nights a week and 2) if boyfriends story about dad allowing them to live there and help out is actually true. I can’t actually fathom any parent that would be perfectly ok with this. I can’t actually fathom that my own daughter in lieu of just working s little harder to bring up grades chooses to try to get pregnant to make sure she can see boyfriend.
She was not raised like this. We have not let her just run free when she started going out with this kid - wouldn’t even let her ride with him in his car. Right now everything is so messed up I can’t think straight and I am an emotional wreck. Not really looking for answers because there’s nothing really to answer yet. But maybe hoping someone might have been in a similar situation and have suggestions or thoughts about what to do. Husband and I feel pushed into a corner. If we refuse to let her do anything we realize she could just disappear after school one day. We’ve tried to offer some options to allow them to see each other but keep her home and safe (we realize that what’s happened has happened with the sex and we have to accept that) but she refuses. She wants out. Part of me feels like say fine if you have it all worked out then have fun with it but I just can’t come to terms just yet with saying we’re going to let you move out of my house just because you hate us and you think you know how life works and will be happier elsewhere. She’s TOO YOUNG and i don’t know how I would manage. I don’t even know if that’s legal. How do you deal with something like this???
Boyfriend has been sneaking into our house multiple times a week!!! Hiding out in her closet when we are still up and checking in on her periodically. Daughter and boyfriend have been INTENTIONALLY trying to get pregnant because she feels that this will force us to have to let them see each other because it’s would be his kid too. Daughter also says that she doesn’t want to be around us. She doesn’t like us. She doesn’t see us as parents. She wants to live with boyfriend and his dad. We have NO CLUE where this is coming from. They have things all worked out according to her how this will play out if she’s pregnant. I am just spinning right now and am pretty much beside myself.
We are attempting to get ahold of boyfriends father to 1) see just what he knows about this relationship and if he’s realized or even cares that his 16 year old son isn’t home multiple nights a week and 2) if boyfriends story about dad allowing them to live there and help out is actually true. I can’t actually fathom any parent that would be perfectly ok with this. I can’t actually fathom that my own daughter in lieu of just working s little harder to bring up grades chooses to try to get pregnant to make sure she can see boyfriend.
She was not raised like this. We have not let her just run free when she started going out with this kid - wouldn’t even let her ride with him in his car. Right now everything is so messed up I can’t think straight and I am an emotional wreck. Not really looking for answers because there’s nothing really to answer yet. But maybe hoping someone might have been in a similar situation and have suggestions or thoughts about what to do. Husband and I feel pushed into a corner. If we refuse to let her do anything we realize she could just disappear after school one day. We’ve tried to offer some options to allow them to see each other but keep her home and safe (we realize that what’s happened has happened with the sex and we have to accept that) but she refuses. She wants out. Part of me feels like say fine if you have it all worked out then have fun with it but I just can’t come to terms just yet with saying we’re going to let you move out of my house just because you hate us and you think you know how life works and will be happier elsewhere. She’s TOO YOUNG and i don’t know how I would manage. I don’t even know if that’s legal. How do you deal with something like this???