Well, my son has Conduct disorder, ADHD, Bipolar and likely Executive Function disorder... this all came to light about 2 months ago when, after having moved in with me and my wife for 2 months, we discovered he had stolen over $8000 from emergency funds we had hidden in our room (pretty much all the money my wife had), used the money to buy pre-paid credit cards which he used to buy/gamble it away on STEAM playing games and buying porn (fairly intense BDSM stuff) as well as having my wife's driver's license, a check from our joint account in photos on his phone, which he used to open a PayPal account in her name. When we discovered the money gone, we eventually called the police as my son was adamantly denying taking it (we suspect he's lifted smaller amounts from purses in the past).. he lied to the police, then we discovered the photos on his phone, a second set of cops from the forgery division were sent out, who were older and less "compassionate" and at last he copped to the theft and making the account. We're certain he'd also put spyware on our computers and phones (he was pretty keen to have us on an unlimited data plan, likely to hide the huge amounts of data these malwares use). He's been charged with juvenile forgery and has a court date in 2 weeks. It also turns out he tried to commit suicide that night by swallowing an entire bottle of his ADHD medication before the 2nd set came out. He was loopy and vomiting, but hard to discern between a drug reaction or anxiety at the time, and he'd told me he'd "flushed them because they were canadian medications" (right) He had moved in with us as a result of behavioral issues with his mother, whom he's lived with since 2 yrs old (after we divorced). At the time, we had known about the "general" nature of his issues, but they were never presented with actual incidents or details, just vague statements about skipping classes, a few running away from home incidents. After the discovery of the theft I'm now finding out this behavior has been consistent and extreme... theft over years to the tune of probably 15000, details about lies and schemes he's pulled. Never anything violent, but a very consistent level of disobedience over even simple things like showering or brushing teeth, keeping food out of his room, doing homework (which is almost never done). Theft usually involving credit cards has been an ongoing issue with him as well. Life at home has gone into an insane "lockdown". All valuables have been put in our bedroom, which now has 2 locks on the door, as well as locks (both padlocks and handle locks). I sleep on the couch so there's always a presence out in the rest of the apartment, he's only out of my sight when at school or in the cafeteria at my office (he can't be in the house by himself, or alone with my wife). Given his nonexistent impulse-control and interest in more extreme sexual kinks, she's not at all comfortable having him in the home (we're not prudes about BDSM, but there are "appropriate" levels for maturity which he is well outside of) Now I run around looking into placing him into a military style academy (which his suicide attempt makes impossible now), psychiatric and psychological treatments (he had undiagnosed bipolar and anxiety, as well as the CD) as well as trying to keep track on his schooling as he's in danger of failing out of all of his classes except phys-ed. I've tried helping him with schoolwork only for him to get frustrated and storming out, staying out until midnight and telling us he's been thinking about killing himself all day. We took him to the ER and had him admitted under danger-to-self, after which he was transfered to a behavioral health clinic for a little over a week. My wife wants him out ASAP (and "as possible" is proving troublesome all by itself) for obvious reasons. His antisocial issues are likely to escalate, from all we've read, and the longer things go on, the more she's worrying about physical violence. He's not even been violent with either of us, but that "snap-factor" we're aware of makes things continually tense. I'm not comfortable with him living with us either anymore, but this child is as mature as a 13yr old when it comes to life-coping, and I don't see him being able to support himself at all, especially since it's in no way certain he can even graduate highschool (thank you, no child left behind) so I'm finding myself caught between the proverbial rock and hard place. On the one hand, he made this problem and it's his to deal with the consequences... on the other, he's so completely unprepared for real life that I don't have much hope for his survival without some help... My wife wants to move after he's out so he can't find us for potential retribution, and seems to be angling for a complete break of relations with him for us both. I get where she's coming from, and she has no "connection" with him as a parent like I do.. but I find myself REALLY resisting the idea of removing him from my life... But contact after he's out would give him a means to find us. I'm so spun around it's hard to know what to think or even see. While I was aware he had issues before moving in with us, I was expecting "normal" teen issues... lying about going out with friends at night, or maybe lifting 40 much from a wallet, not working to potential but not failing out either... My wife has always felt he was "off" since the age of 9, and I'll admit a lot of the things she noticed I was chalking up to "only sees dad sometimes" stresses, but apparently there was this thing with the CD all along. Getting the list of issues from his mother made it abundantly clear... Odd things like clogging a toilet in the basement, and not only NOT clearing it or telling anyone, but continuing to actually use it for a month. Bizarrely extreme. I feel like no matter what I do, I'll lose my wife, my son, or both. Just feeling lost. 4 months ago I ws kinda keen about having my family under one roof at last... now it's like it's in total danger of falling apart.