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Parent Emeritus
22 year old bipolar who is difficult to live with -- PART 2
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 607508" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Here's something else you might give him to think about. I kicked my oldest out at 19. For several years, she was always trying to find a way to "come back home." She would try to negotiate ways to get me to give in. At some point, a therapist said to me: "20something kids are supposed to want to move OUT of your house, not move IN. Tell her she has it backwards." </p><p></p><p>It was like a lightbulb went off in *my* head. The therapist was right.. why on earth was my adult child wanting to come home?! It helped me to change my attitude, and lessened my guilt over saying "no." I honestly can't remember if I ever actually said that to Oldest, or what her response was, but I do know that it caused a shift in my thinking. </p><p></p><p>What I also learned from that, was that it wasn't my difficult child that needed to have the lightbulb moments.. it was me. I had to stop doing things in hopes that she'd change her mind. I just needed to change my own.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. You're doing great.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 607508, member: 1157"] Here's something else you might give him to think about. I kicked my oldest out at 19. For several years, she was always trying to find a way to "come back home." She would try to negotiate ways to get me to give in. At some point, a therapist said to me: "20something kids are supposed to want to move OUT of your house, not move IN. Tell her she has it backwards." It was like a lightbulb went off in *my* head. The therapist was right.. why on earth was my adult child wanting to come home?! It helped me to change my attitude, and lessened my guilt over saying "no." I honestly can't remember if I ever actually said that to Oldest, or what her response was, but I do know that it caused a shift in my thinking. What I also learned from that, was that it wasn't my difficult child that needed to have the lightbulb moments.. it was me. I had to stop doing things in hopes that she'd change her mind. I just needed to change my own. Hang in there. You're doing great. [/QUOTE]
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22 year old bipolar who is difficult to live with -- PART 2
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