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Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Confused, Apr 17, 2014.

  1. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    But what I went through was once in a while. I did not see my parents ALL THE TIME. So I was mostly with nice, undemanding prople, except for my difficult child (grrrrrrrrrr). And since he left, life has been pretty serene. I just learned to pace myself with abusive people...keep them where I could limit contact. I could not live with chronic chaos. By my age, I'd have heart disease, high blood pressure, and be on death's doorstep myself...lol. I want to be healthy and live a long life so I can see my grandchildren get married and beyond!!! :)

    in my opinion your priority should be yourself and your kids so we will agree to disagree. I don't think your grandfather should be taking up so much of your time and am kind of puzzled at why you are making that decision or why you think only family should care for the man. Understand that you are choosing this. You have other options. Your kids in my opinion need a calmer environment. Seems they get shafted by grandpa.

    But I wish you good luck and hope you can figure it all out :)
  2. Confused

    Confused Guest

    You did the right thing :) I of course would rather care for my grandfather or other family just by family but I am willing to accept help from outsiders. Its my neighbors that say no outsiders and my grandfather has one caretaker couple hours twice week but wont hire anyone else again ( he actually needs full care now anyways so all day and night). I wasnt saying I was going to give up my kids.. I was just saying that would be the only way to care for him 24/7, but I wont do that. He wants me with my family at my house but yet always calls me back.

    My grandpa can be nice but when he is in lecture/putdown blaming mode yikes! I do get the kids out of the room/ house when it starts. He says" when you find a job we will talk about hiring someone again" well... meanwhile he wants me to look but gets mad when Im gone! But.. my Aunt said he has to realize how it is on his own without extra help.. just go look and get the job.. then.. we deal with it. Well, then I will be blamed if my grandpa falls or something because Im not there! But.. I thought about it and I have to take that chance.. Im going to record my grandpa saying go... then getting mad Im gone. I tried telling him full care at his home plus us, will be cheaper than the Nursing home if he doesnt want to go. Im going to also talk to his Dr that has been recommending live in care and get his written statement of my grandfathers refusal so Im not completely blamed when I leave him alone.

    Im always working on figuring it out.. but coming to answer/ solution haha!!! Thank you :)