6 months today

tryingtobestrong

Active Member
Hello, I wanted to share that my son is 6 months sober today. Today is his last day at a company he worked for the last 4 years and my heart doesn't know which way to feel. He was offered a new job making more money with a new company. This old company was so supportive during the last years when he was having his problems and needed to use FMLA and go to treatment.
I am happy but scared.
He is also going to be moving in with his girlfriend which makes me very nervous.
I should be beaming with happiness at his 6 months today and yet I am fearful it may end. Fearful something will trigger him whether it be the new job or living with the girlfriend.
My husband says it is not mine to control. I wish i could just let go like he does.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Do you go to AlAnon? If not, I highly recommend it. Addiction issues are family issues. AlAnon really helped me deal with the history of drinking and codependent behavior in my family, along with my brother. If you just go to one or two meetings and feel uncomfortable, it is easy to give up. If you try to do what they call "30 in 30", meaning you try to do 30 meetings in 30 days, you end up finding which meeting places and times work best for you. If you try to do that, go to meetings at as many different times/places as possible as this will help you find a group that works for you.

Going to AlAnon will actually help your child stay sober. Sounds weird, right? I have seen research that says if family members work the AlAnon program, it increases the chances of long term sobriety by 30%. Imagine your child is in high school. If he has good grades, he will get a scholarship. If he doesn't, he won't be able to go to school after high school. If you could increase his grade by 30% by going to a meeting every day for a month and then meetings at least weekly after that, would you do it? His grade could go from a 69% to a 99%. Would you do that for him? Fighting addiction is even more important than grades (and grades are very important in my opinion). So would you do that for your child? There are even online meetings that you can find.

If you are wondering what maladaptive behaviors you have learned from being in a family with someone who has substance abuse issues, read "The Laundry List" by Tony A and Dan F. It was a HUGE wakeup call for me.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
As always, another prop for Al Anon or Nar Anon. You will learn tools to get you through this. I understand waiting for the other shoe to drop, not that Kay was ever sober so kudos to your son! Prayers and hugs.

It's time to work on yourself, on your own fears so that you can deal with the scariness of uncertainty as well as your husband can. Because it IS up to your son and overworrying never made anyone well. We CAN make ourselves well though!

Keep us updated!!!!
 
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