Acknowledging feelings

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by WiseChoices, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    So, daughter came to talk and I am learning how to acknowledge her feelings without providing solutions. This habit of mine that I am working on now has brought many difficulties in the past because daughter did not feel heard or seen, and I needed her to feel better for MY anxiety to go away. This is unfair to another human being.

    She was talking about a situation that bothers her .She cried. I listened intently. Intermittently, I offered "I understand" , "Yes, I can see how you would feel that way", "Oh, that is hurtful to you" etc

    Due to the subject matter I did state my opinion on what I see going on .I watched for signs of her eyes glazing over which means I need to stop.

    She then said another thing or 2, and then said she was done and was going to her room.

    In the past, due to my behavior, this would have gone on forever, I would have told her what to do over and over and would have lectured. Hence, her feelings never get addressed and she feels worse . Today, she processed and moved on.
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    • List
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    Good for you. When we don't see them change then WE have to change. It seems to be working for you!
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  3. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    Thanks , RN. Learning and growing all the time .