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Adopted adults have more problems....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760126" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I don't know how to copy/paste on my phone. Pathetic, I know.</p><p></p><p>Lately I am trying to understand why Kay is soooo different than the rest of us in her attachment to the family. It won't change anything to research or know, but it has helped soothe my guilt. Apparently there are so many more problems in adopted children due to attachment issues (even with infants), parental drug use, and even the fact that there are so many unknowns with the birthparents of our kids.</p><p></p><p>I have read obsessively on this lately and I would have been so much better prepared if our social worker had told us the truth. They knew. That way when Kay acted out, and adopted kids tend to have school issues too, we would have expected it and been ready and not have taken it personally, as in we are bad parents.</p><p></p><p>I think we would have also anticipated possible levels of estrangement and have taken that less personally too. Not that these problems always happen.They don't. But they are much more common in adopted kids than with biological children who are never separated from their birthmothers.</p><p></p><p>The articles also point out that most adoptive parents are eager to parent and want to be good parents and usually are, and.mostly have the means to give our children advantages. I keep reading....it is.not the parents. It is the child's experience and genetics.</p><p></p><p>Wish I could buy it 100 percent. Wish I could have copy/pasted the last article I just read too <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😒" title="Unamused face :unamused:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f612.png" data-shortname=":unamused:" />. However, I am feeling better about myself lately and a little irritated that, in our case, we were never told about things like attachment issues and other things to look out for. We would have adopted her anyway, but with more.open eyes....maybe a better outcome. Or not....</p><p></p><p>Love and.prayers to all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760126, member: 23706"] I don't know how to copy/paste on my phone. Pathetic, I know. Lately I am trying to understand why Kay is soooo different than the rest of us in her attachment to the family. It won't change anything to research or know, but it has helped soothe my guilt. Apparently there are so many more problems in adopted children due to attachment issues (even with infants), parental drug use, and even the fact that there are so many unknowns with the birthparents of our kids. I have read obsessively on this lately and I would have been so much better prepared if our social worker had told us the truth. They knew. That way when Kay acted out, and adopted kids tend to have school issues too, we would have expected it and been ready and not have taken it personally, as in we are bad parents. I think we would have also anticipated possible levels of estrangement and have taken that less personally too. Not that these problems always happen.They don't. But they are much more common in adopted kids than with biological children who are never separated from their birthmothers. The articles also point out that most adoptive parents are eager to parent and want to be good parents and usually are, and.mostly have the means to give our children advantages. I keep reading....it is.not the parents. It is the child's experience and genetics. Wish I could buy it 100 percent. Wish I could have copy/pasted the last article I just read too 😒. However, I am feeling better about myself lately and a little irritated that, in our case, we were never told about things like attachment issues and other things to look out for. We would have adopted her anyway, but with more.open eyes....maybe a better outcome. Or not.... Love and.prayers to all. [/QUOTE]
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Adopted adults have more problems....
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