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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 761476" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Often I find myself with envy of my friends whose children seem to grow up, work through problems and settle down. They become prosperous and sometimes the parents are lucky enough that the children want to be near them and support them. Of my very close friends only one has a child that had a severe eating disorder but she's now married and a stable professional. NOBODY I know has gone through what I have. In fact of my closest few friends, all mental health professionals, only one will listen at all. The others prefer to forget I have a child. I let it go.</p><p></p><p>But here is what I want to say.</p><p></p><p>My son's parents were both drug addicts, mentally ill, and were dying of AIDS when he was born. There was no way I could not have anticipated the problems my son and I would face. They were there staring in my face. Instead my relationship to him from the time I first saw his picture was the deepest love, commitment and hope. I could not have turned away from him. He was my life from the first second and it's never ever changed. I believe G-d gave him to me and that he was my destiny. I continue to believe that no matter how much I've suffered, how much I have failed him. Though I would have wished that this struggle had not defined my later years, we continue to be in relation he and I and to move through this.</p><p></p><p>The best of life is lessons. The best of life is connecting to that part of ourselves where unlimited, strength, hope, faith and solace reside. For me, this is the focus that gives me power and purpose. It's so much more precious for me to hold onto this than to search in the chaos for whys and how comes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 761476, member: 18958"] Often I find myself with envy of my friends whose children seem to grow up, work through problems and settle down. They become prosperous and sometimes the parents are lucky enough that the children want to be near them and support them. Of my very close friends only one has a child that had a severe eating disorder but she's now married and a stable professional. NOBODY I know has gone through what I have. In fact of my closest few friends, all mental health professionals, only one will listen at all. The others prefer to forget I have a child. I let it go. But here is what I want to say. My son's parents were both drug addicts, mentally ill, and were dying of AIDS when he was born. There was no way I could not have anticipated the problems my son and I would face. They were there staring in my face. Instead my relationship to him from the time I first saw his picture was the deepest love, commitment and hope. I could not have turned away from him. He was my life from the first second and it's never ever changed. I believe G-d gave him to me and that he was my destiny. I continue to believe that no matter how much I've suffered, how much I have failed him. Though I would have wished that this struggle had not defined my later years, we continue to be in relation he and I and to move through this. The best of life is lessons. The best of life is connecting to that part of ourselves where unlimited, strength, hope, faith and solace reside. For me, this is the focus that gives me power and purpose. It's so much more precious for me to hold onto this than to search in the chaos for whys and how comes. [/QUOTE]
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