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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 724220" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>HI Halogen,</p><p>Welcome, and sorry for your need to be here.</p><p>It sounds like you have given much to your daughters and they are disrespecting you. I would let time pass. Let them figure it out. They are adults. Well, <em>sort of</em>.</p><p>I mean, what kind of adult child mistreats their own mother?</p><p>We wouldn't take that kind of treatment from strangers, even more so, respect should be given to ones parent.</p><p></p><p>It is sad and confusing when these adult kids of ours go, well <em>weird on us.</em></p><p>For you, especially because they seem to have done well in their lives. Who knows what their mindset is? Where is this coming from?</p><p>For me, my two are addicted and using. I have learned to<em> expect weirdness from them when I see them. </em></p><p>I don't see them often, due to lots of things, but top of the list is <em>being disrespectful</em>.</p><p>I don’t deserve to be mistreated.</p><p>Either do you.</p><p>You matter.</p><p>We do have our own lives HL.</p><p>I have been downsizing and going through accumulated stuff lately. It has taken me some time to get to my photo albums. I was too sad to look through all of those pictures of my kids growing up. I finally dove in ( thank goodness for digital nowadays, man, I have so many, many pictures!)</p><p>What I saw, were memories of days gone by, happy times spent as a family. It reminded me that we did have some lovely times together.</p><p>My most recent communique with my two d cs was all about how it is “my fault” they make the choices they do, “if I was a better mother” .........</p><p>Huh.</p><p>Did I make mistakes- darn tootin, I am only human after all. I did the best job with what I had and knew at the time.</p><p>Often times kids will grow up and bemoan this and</p><p> that about their lives. Blame parents for their issues. We can role back the tapes and find incidences where we wished we did better.</p><p></p><p>Well, fact is, adult kids make their own choices.</p><p>Blame is a way to shirk responsibility for just that.</p><p>Too bad.</p><p>Too bad more kids are growing up into adulthood feeling entitled, dissing and blaming parents.</p><p>I am glad you have your boys, they seem to see this for what it is and their sisters bad attitudes are unacceptable to them.</p><p>Focus on your boys.</p><p>Maybe their sisters will get the hint.</p><p>Your attention on your girls right now, is not deserved.</p><p>You matter, you have worth.</p><p>Life is short.</p><p>Too short to be allowing adult children to rob us of our peace and joy.</p><p>They will do what they want to do.</p><p>They should know better. Do better.</p><p>Focus on healing from this and living your life.</p><p>You have done your job.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 724220, member: 19522"] HI Halogen, Welcome, and sorry for your need to be here. It sounds like you have given much to your daughters and they are disrespecting you. I would let time pass. Let them figure it out. They are adults. Well, [I]sort of[/I]. I mean, what kind of adult child mistreats their own mother? We wouldn't take that kind of treatment from strangers, even more so, respect should be given to ones parent. It is sad and confusing when these adult kids of ours go, well [I]weird on us.[/I] For you, especially because they seem to have done well in their lives. Who knows what their mindset is? Where is this coming from? For me, my two are addicted and using. I have learned to[I] expect weirdness from them when I see them. [/I] I don't see them often, due to lots of things, but top of the list is [I]being disrespectful[/I]. I don’t deserve to be mistreated. Either do you. You matter. We do have our own lives HL. I have been downsizing and going through accumulated stuff lately. It has taken me some time to get to my photo albums. I was too sad to look through all of those pictures of my kids growing up. I finally dove in ( thank goodness for digital nowadays, man, I have so many, many pictures!) What I saw, were memories of days gone by, happy times spent as a family. It reminded me that we did have some lovely times together. My most recent communique with my two d cs was all about how it is “my fault” they make the choices they do, “if I was a better mother” ......... Huh. Did I make mistakes- darn tootin, I am only human after all. I did the best job with what I had and knew at the time. Often times kids will grow up and bemoan this and that about their lives. Blame parents for their issues. We can role back the tapes and find incidences where we wished we did better. Well, fact is, adult kids make their own choices. Blame is a way to shirk responsibility for just that. Too bad. Too bad more kids are growing up into adulthood feeling entitled, dissing and blaming parents. I am glad you have your boys, they seem to see this for what it is and their sisters bad attitudes are unacceptable to them. Focus on your boys. Maybe their sisters will get the hint. Your attention on your girls right now, is not deserved. You matter, you have worth. Life is short. Too short to be allowing adult children to rob us of our peace and joy. They will do what they want to do. They should know better. Do better. Focus on healing from this and living your life. You have done your job. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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