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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 549238" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Good morning ADT, welcome to our little corner of the world. I'm sorry that you're going through this with your son. I'm glad you're here, you are not alone. Keep writing, it helps. I hope your son wakes up this time and gets the help he needs. In the meantime, my pretty standard advice, having been there, is to get yourself surrounded with as much support as you can. Find a therapist if you haven't already, get in a group of some kind, make yourself available to others who are trained, and/or have been there, who can offer you guidance, a soft shoulder, a safe environment to vent, rage, weep and talk, and put yourself in places where others really understand.</p><p></p><p>We find ourselves in a very unique and extremely challenging point in our lives, one that goes against the normal parenting trajectory, it can be a lonely and very disheartening journey and to make it all more difficult, the road to peace is up and down, sideways and back and forth. Detaching from our kids is such a difficult and heartbreaking experience, some opt out completely, others just continue the enabling, some go back and forth, some manage to remove themselves from all the drama and intensity, some get serious stress related health issues, it's all over the map. We each have to find our own way, there isn't one right way, or a book to tell us how to do it.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are suffering. I know that fear you harbor of your son being homeless or dead, our mother's hearts most devastating worry. I understand and so do many others here. Keep posting, we're listening, get yourself support and lots of it, read books, pray, take walks, try to find joy each day so that you remember you have a life too, connect with others who understand where you are, take VERY, VERY good care of yourself. I send you caring thoughts and prayers for you to find peace. (((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 549238, member: 13542"] Good morning ADT, welcome to our little corner of the world. I'm sorry that you're going through this with your son. I'm glad you're here, you are not alone. Keep writing, it helps. I hope your son wakes up this time and gets the help he needs. In the meantime, my pretty standard advice, having been there, is to get yourself surrounded with as much support as you can. Find a therapist if you haven't already, get in a group of some kind, make yourself available to others who are trained, and/or have been there, who can offer you guidance, a soft shoulder, a safe environment to vent, rage, weep and talk, and put yourself in places where others really understand. We find ourselves in a very unique and extremely challenging point in our lives, one that goes against the normal parenting trajectory, it can be a lonely and very disheartening journey and to make it all more difficult, the road to peace is up and down, sideways and back and forth. Detaching from our kids is such a difficult and heartbreaking experience, some opt out completely, others just continue the enabling, some go back and forth, some manage to remove themselves from all the drama and intensity, some get serious stress related health issues, it's all over the map. We each have to find our own way, there isn't one right way, or a book to tell us how to do it. I'm sorry you are suffering. I know that fear you harbor of your son being homeless or dead, our mother's hearts most devastating worry. I understand and so do many others here. Keep posting, we're listening, get yourself support and lots of it, read books, pray, take walks, try to find joy each day so that you remember you have a life too, connect with others who understand where you are, take VERY, VERY good care of yourself. I send you caring thoughts and prayers for you to find peace. (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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