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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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<blockquote data-quote="Bambie" data-source="post: 549495" data-attributes="member: 15169"><p>Gosh everyone....while reading this, it helps me to understand that I am not the only one in this situation. I desperately need support from others and I often feel as though I am the only one dealing with it. My son is 33 years old, I am 56 and he has an alcohol problem. He is homeless 50% of the time and the other50% is when I or someone is helping him. I just cant do it anymore. If you were to meet him, he is the nicest person you could meet (sometimes people dont believe that he does what he does because he has great manners and knows how to charm.....he is also intelligent and well spoken) However, I have had this problem since he was a teen of approx 16....but over the years he has become worse. At the age of 16 he took off with a transient family ....got his 14 year old girlfriend pregnant. A year later, the girlfriend was killed in a car accident....the new born baby was in intensive care for weeks but survived. My husband and I spent our whole savings getting custody of the baby ...away from the other gr-parents who are crack addicts. The courts claim to be in the best interest of the child.....(lol) so we had to prove their addiction despite the fact that they had numerous arrests, etc. (Luckily, my son had enough sense that he wanted us to have the baby and actually helped us). Fast forward and thousands of dollars and numerous attorneys later, we won and have been raising her since she was a baby. She is now 17 years old....and a great kid. However, she looks at her dad as an annoying brother who she wants nothing to do with (she knows he is her dad). My son cannot seem to hold a job, he drinks horribly, he urinates in bottles in his room (leaving them to lay around until he throws them out), et. He just cannot live with us anymore......and I cant take the stress of his issues anymore. I believe that my son has some emotional problems that can be helped with the right doctor....and I think he needs to be put on medication along with a drug/alcohol program. Through the years, I have had him arrested, guided him to an alcohol program (he walked from it), pleaded with the courts, etc....but it seems there is no way to help him. I just dont know what to do or where to do..........and it is so hard to see him on the streets. Now that his daughter is almost an adult, my husband and I can finally see our life without kids again....but I am concerned that my son will never be capable of supporting himself....and my life will never be peaceful. I just want to retire and enjoy my life before I am 90 years old..... Any input would be great....I am open to any form of help...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bambie, post: 549495, member: 15169"] Gosh everyone....while reading this, it helps me to understand that I am not the only one in this situation. I desperately need support from others and I often feel as though I am the only one dealing with it. My son is 33 years old, I am 56 and he has an alcohol problem. He is homeless 50% of the time and the other50% is when I or someone is helping him. I just cant do it anymore. If you were to meet him, he is the nicest person you could meet (sometimes people dont believe that he does what he does because he has great manners and knows how to charm.....he is also intelligent and well spoken) However, I have had this problem since he was a teen of approx 16....but over the years he has become worse. At the age of 16 he took off with a transient family ....got his 14 year old girlfriend pregnant. A year later, the girlfriend was killed in a car accident....the new born baby was in intensive care for weeks but survived. My husband and I spent our whole savings getting custody of the baby ...away from the other gr-parents who are crack addicts. The courts claim to be in the best interest of the child.....(lol) so we had to prove their addiction despite the fact that they had numerous arrests, etc. (Luckily, my son had enough sense that he wanted us to have the baby and actually helped us). Fast forward and thousands of dollars and numerous attorneys later, we won and have been raising her since she was a baby. She is now 17 years old....and a great kid. However, she looks at her dad as an annoying brother who she wants nothing to do with (she knows he is her dad). My son cannot seem to hold a job, he drinks horribly, he urinates in bottles in his room (leaving them to lay around until he throws them out), et. He just cannot live with us anymore......and I cant take the stress of his issues anymore. I believe that my son has some emotional problems that can be helped with the right doctor....and I think he needs to be put on medication along with a drug/alcohol program. Through the years, I have had him arrested, guided him to an alcohol program (he walked from it), pleaded with the courts, etc....but it seems there is no way to help him. I just dont know what to do or where to do..........and it is so hard to see him on the streets. Now that his daughter is almost an adult, my husband and I can finally see our life without kids again....but I am concerned that my son will never be capable of supporting himself....and my life will never be peaceful. I just want to retire and enjoy my life before I am 90 years old..... Any input would be great....I am open to any form of help... [/QUOTE]
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