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Parent Emeritus
Adult son with bipolar,Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ADD
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 589284" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I think there are options between your son living with you and living on the streets. As long as you continue to only see those two options, you will effectively keep yourself stuck out of fear. What you have the power to do is explore options, talk to experts, perhaps at NAMI who are well versed in options. </p><p></p><p>I have a friend who has a suicidal, bi polar psychotic son whose been in and out of treatment. She has been looking into options for him and has found a social worker who is willing to help her. He is now at a facility part time and all kinds of avenues are opening up for her that she never even knew about before. The son has a team of people working with her to find a solution. It took her awhile but she found help. She was tenacious, determined, committed and was going to find support no matter what she had to do.</p><p></p><p>As long as you believe that if your son is not with you he is on the streets, you will stay stuck in inertia. A therapist of mine once told me that when we see only two or three options, then we are dealing with issues that are out of our awareness. There are always more options, you may have to look, you may have to try very hard to find answers. </p><p></p><p>You have now told him he has 30 days to improve or he has to move, but you don't really sound as if you have any real commitment to make that happen, you are already ready to cave if he has to go on the streets for a few days. He has no incentive to do anything different because he knows you are not serious. </p><p></p><p>Here's the bottom line Susieq, you'll stay in this situation with your son as long as you are willing to put up with it. When you decide you are not, then you will change it. Your life is dictated by your sons issues, you stated that your husband left because of your son, you said you worked harder when you are cleaning up after him then when you are at work, you said you don't know what to do. If I were in your shoes, I would 1. Get in touch with NAMI. 2. Get in therapy. 3 Look into Family Anonymous 4. apply for the housing even though they said it will be years, you will at least be on the list 5. Look into Section 8 and getting a caseworker as MWM suggested. Start with those. </p><p></p><p>You sound very stuck to me, perhaps depressed, which makes it difficult to move forward and gain any momentum. You may want to focus on getting help for yourself first, so you have the strength and the resolve to repair your life. After all of this time and with PTSD, you may indeed need some professional help to feel better and move forward. Take care of YOU Susieq, you sound afraid and immobilized, please get yourself some support, you deserve that, you deserve a healthy, joyful life. But you are the only one who can go after that for yourself. Make the choice to take care of you and I believe options for your son will emerge. I wish you peace. And send you hugs too.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 589284, member: 13542"] I think there are options between your son living with you and living on the streets. As long as you continue to only see those two options, you will effectively keep yourself stuck out of fear. What you have the power to do is explore options, talk to experts, perhaps at NAMI who are well versed in options. I have a friend who has a suicidal, bi polar psychotic son whose been in and out of treatment. She has been looking into options for him and has found a social worker who is willing to help her. He is now at a facility part time and all kinds of avenues are opening up for her that she never even knew about before. The son has a team of people working with her to find a solution. It took her awhile but she found help. She was tenacious, determined, committed and was going to find support no matter what she had to do. As long as you believe that if your son is not with you he is on the streets, you will stay stuck in inertia. A therapist of mine once told me that when we see only two or three options, then we are dealing with issues that are out of our awareness. There are always more options, you may have to look, you may have to try very hard to find answers. You have now told him he has 30 days to improve or he has to move, but you don't really sound as if you have any real commitment to make that happen, you are already ready to cave if he has to go on the streets for a few days. He has no incentive to do anything different because he knows you are not serious. Here's the bottom line Susieq, you'll stay in this situation with your son as long as you are willing to put up with it. When you decide you are not, then you will change it. Your life is dictated by your sons issues, you stated that your husband left because of your son, you said you worked harder when you are cleaning up after him then when you are at work, you said you don't know what to do. If I were in your shoes, I would 1. Get in touch with NAMI. 2. Get in therapy. 3 Look into Family Anonymous 4. apply for the housing even though they said it will be years, you will at least be on the list 5. Look into Section 8 and getting a caseworker as MWM suggested. Start with those. You sound very stuck to me, perhaps depressed, which makes it difficult to move forward and gain any momentum. You may want to focus on getting help for yourself first, so you have the strength and the resolve to repair your life. After all of this time and with PTSD, you may indeed need some professional help to feel better and move forward. Take care of YOU Susieq, you sound afraid and immobilized, please get yourself some support, you deserve that, you deserve a healthy, joyful life. But you are the only one who can go after that for yourself. Make the choice to take care of you and I believe options for your son will emerge. I wish you peace. And send you hugs too............. [/QUOTE]
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