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Parent Emeritus
Advice for feeling like a failure as a parent?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 754477" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi. I am so sorry for your pain.</p><p></p><p>Please, please do not see your youngest son as off the rails. He is just not made for college and did not want to disappoint you. He is not drugging or breaking the law. He can do fine without college. Many kids do.</p><p></p><p>As for the other kids, we always give ourselves all the credit when it's bad. We discount all other factors.....genetic makeup (important!), school and peers as a major influence, friends, the rest of the family, lots of X factors that we can never know. You are but one piece of a large puzzle. You did not cause it. I actually put most on genetics.</p><p></p><p>Please stop making yourself the main reason for the disappointment you feel. Your kids are adults making their own choices and it is not about you. It is about them and you didn't cause it.</p><p></p><p>Live your best life despite your children. They may come around. If not, at least YOU will be okay. I recommend Al Anon and a therapist. Church can help too if you believe. I handle my pain by letting go of my abusive ego mind and living in the moment and sharing in Al Anon and therapy. In Al Anon people did understand. Therapy as well. I tried very hard to do better for myself.</p><p></p><p>Prayers and hugs. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /></p><p></p><p>Prayers and many hugs. Hope you find peace in this holiday season.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 754477, member: 23706"] Hi. I am so sorry for your pain. Please, please do not see your youngest son as off the rails. He is just not made for college and did not want to disappoint you. He is not drugging or breaking the law. He can do fine without college. Many kids do. As for the other kids, we always give ourselves all the credit when it's bad. We discount all other factors.....genetic makeup (important!), school and peers as a major influence, friends, the rest of the family, lots of X factors that we can never know. You are but one piece of a large puzzle. You did not cause it. I actually put most on genetics. Please stop making yourself the main reason for the disappointment you feel. Your kids are adults making their own choices and it is not about you. It is about them and you didn't cause it. Live your best life despite your children. They may come around. If not, at least YOU will be okay. I recommend Al Anon and a therapist. Church can help too if you believe. I handle my pain by letting go of my abusive ego mind and living in the moment and sharing in Al Anon and therapy. In Al Anon people did understand. Therapy as well. I tried very hard to do better for myself. Prayers and hugs. ❤️ Prayers and many hugs. Hope you find peace in this holiday season. [/QUOTE]
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Advice for feeling like a failure as a parent?
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