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Advice for feeling like a failure as a parent?
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<blockquote data-quote="Chasejazz" data-source="post: 754478" data-attributes="member: 24130"><p>Acacia,</p><p>All mine are 'off the rails', too, so you're not alone.</p><p>One thing I try to remember is not to judge people's insides by their outsides, because there are a lot of parents whose adult kids <em>appear to be doing great, </em>but in reality they're not even near perfect by a long stretch.</p><p>Addiction can run in families and that's no one's fault. It's just worked into the genetic code in some and others just use until they become addicted. Either way, none of that is your fault.</p><p>As far as I'm concerned, there is something to be said about the new generation of "kids". They are not the go-getters of our generation, it seems to me. At 17 you were on your own, supporting yourself, etc. How many 17 year olds do you see doing that now? How many can say they had jobs -- babysitting, mowing lawns or bagging groceries at the supermarket as teens? Hardly any! This is a sign of the times. I too was a teenaged mother. Worked my absolute butt off for myself and my three kids. I went to college also, in my 20s. While my kids are educated, they are entitled spoiled-brat grownup <strong>children</strong>. Two don't speak to me, (ages 35 an 39) and the 41 year old is homeless because I tossed him out . I got tired of the revolving door policy he thought he was entitled to. What I'm saying is, I did my job and then some, as did you. These kids today run away I think. Drugs, alcohol, sex, wasted lives, divorces, inability to manage money... you name it. To hear them <em>whining </em>about something from 30 years ago, or who was "loved" the most, or or or.... I mean, who can stand it? Please don't feel like a failure. No parent gets a "How To" manual when they have kids. We just go about it the best way we know how. Some might bring a little baggage of our pasts, some not. But as I said, there are skeletons in most people's closet. Some just keep the doors closed better than others.</p><p>Relax. Enjoy your holiday season. You're not alone.</p><p></p><p>"<strong>So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past..."</strong></p><p><strong>- F. Scott Fitzgerald, 'The Great Gatsby' </strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chasejazz, post: 754478, member: 24130"] Acacia, All mine are 'off the rails', too, so you're not alone. One thing I try to remember is not to judge people's insides by their outsides, because there are a lot of parents whose adult kids [I]appear to be doing great, [/I]but in reality they're not even near perfect by a long stretch. Addiction can run in families and that's no one's fault. It's just worked into the genetic code in some and others just use until they become addicted. Either way, none of that is your fault. As far as I'm concerned, there is something to be said about the new generation of "kids". They are not the go-getters of our generation, it seems to me. At 17 you were on your own, supporting yourself, etc. How many 17 year olds do you see doing that now? How many can say they had jobs -- babysitting, mowing lawns or bagging groceries at the supermarket as teens? Hardly any! This is a sign of the times. I too was a teenaged mother. Worked my absolute butt off for myself and my three kids. I went to college also, in my 20s. While my kids are educated, they are entitled spoiled-brat grownup [B]children[/B]. Two don't speak to me, (ages 35 an 39) and the 41 year old is homeless because I tossed him out . I got tired of the revolving door policy he thought he was entitled to. What I'm saying is, I did my job and then some, as did you. These kids today run away I think. Drugs, alcohol, sex, wasted lives, divorces, inability to manage money... you name it. To hear them [I]whining [/I]about something from 30 years ago, or who was "loved" the most, or or or.... I mean, who can stand it? Please don't feel like a failure. No parent gets a "How To" manual when they have kids. We just go about it the best way we know how. Some might bring a little baggage of our pasts, some not. But as I said, there are skeletons in most people's closet. Some just keep the doors closed better than others. Relax. Enjoy your holiday season. You're not alone. "[B]So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past..." - F. Scott Fitzgerald, 'The Great Gatsby' [/B] [/QUOTE]
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