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Advice for my 7year old daughter with ADHD/ODD.. I am afraid there's more.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 721674" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome!! Don't worry about writing too much or going on too long. I write a LOT! This will probably be a pretty long answer and won't be as well organized as yours. For a first post, yours was amazing! You got a ton of information across to us in a very clear and concise way. That is wonderful!!!</p><p></p><p>I am not sure who is doing your evaluation coming up. It would help to know what sort of professional is doing this evaluation. Of course go, but do NOT turn anything over to the school right away,. Think about it and maybe come here and talk about it first. If they say nothing is wrong or that it is not autism, don't take it as gospel. There are a lot of wrong diagnosis in this sort of thing. When we first started looking for help for my oldest (Wiz), we were told that it takes an average of 7 years to get a correct diagnosis. It was frightening to hear. We were lucky in that we got a diagnosis that made sense from the first psychiatrist we took our son to. It is the diagnosis that held up when he went through extensive testing, and the one that he still has today. It just fits perfectly with his behavior and who he is. When other doctors tried to change it, they could never explain how their diagnosis fit his behavior in a way that made sense. This is rare</p><p></p><p>Usually a child does not fit a diagnosis so clearly. My son had times where he did not fit the diagnosis so clearly (teenage hormones distorted things greatly, shudder). Most of the time, diagnosing a child is as much art as science. Take your time and be careful with what you believe in. Read, research, and make sure it makes sense to you in light of what you know about your child. Listen to your instincts above all else. If your instincts say that something is wrong, especially is they say it is really wrong, go with your instinct. The times I made really big mistakes are the times I ignored my instincts. Doctors and therapists and specialists are experts in whatever they studies. They are NOT NOT NOT experts in your child. You are the expert in your child. You carried your child in your body for months. You spend all day every day focused on your child. Sure, you think about other things, but most of what you do is for the benefit of your child. This makes you the unqualified expert in your child. (No matter what your father says.) This means that you can over-rule what the experts say if they are making no sense. Think carefully about what they say, of course, but always feel free to find another expert who will listen to you and do a better job if this expert is an idiot (because some of them just are idiots. Trust me.)</p><p></p><p>Something is going on with your child. What you say about not understanding other people's point of view is classic autism. She sounds very high functioning, and of course girls are very different in how they present than boys are. One thing that many people don't seem to understand is that kids do well when they can. Not when they want to, when they are able to. Your daughter is getting into trouble and having trouble because she just doesn't understand what is being asked of her. Did you know that at one time adhd was considered a symptom of some types of autism? The type that my son has (once called Asperger's) was once considered to have adhd as a symptom. Now adhd is considered "comorbid", which is a fancy way of saying that it goes along with the autism. Whatever. </p><p></p><p>Has your daughter ever been evaluated for sensory integration disorder? This is generally part of autism. Some people only have this, and some have this and many other symptoms of autism. What is Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)? Overwhelming!!! Your brain doesn't handle the input from your senses the way a normal person's brain does. This means that everything is too something. Too much, too little, but very rarely just right. Given your daughter's volume issues, I strongly suspect that she would benefit from occupational therapy. Of course she should have a hearing test first, but at least the school or her pediatrician should have done this already. </p><p></p><p>I have Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and never knew what it was until I my 3rd child was about 4. He couldn't cope with preK every day. He would get overwhelmed and come home and shake for hours like he was cold. He wasn't cold. He was overwhelmed. If I sent him to school 3 or 4 days in a row, he would hide under a desk and pretty much be catatonic for a few hours. It really freaked out both the teachers and students because that is far from who he normally is. He just didn't have other signs of autism, so our psychiatrist sent us to an Occupational Therapist for an evaluation. We chose a private one rather than a school one because I wanted to know how it impacted his entire life rather than just his education. A school Occupational Therapist (OT) will only look at how the problem impacts the child's education. </p><p></p><p>It was incredible. My child was significantly impaired in fine motor skills and had substantial sensory problems. Then the therapist tried gentle joint compressions to see what would happen. Tyler's confidence improved, his self esteem improved, and his motor skills improved. This was after less than 45 seconds of the therapist gently compressing his joints. It was shocking to me! At this point the therapist let my son play while she spoke with me. She told me that my child had Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and was quite impaired with it. He probably couldn't handle a 5 day school week and might not be able to for some time. In our next session she taught me brushing therapy, which included those joint compressions. I had done some reading and was inspired. It still took us 4 years to get my son to a 5 day school week, but our school worked with us and never held it against him. </p><p></p><p>I think brushing therapy is something your daughter would likely benefit from. Children with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) experience a world that is attacking them. It is too loud, or not loud enough. Their clothes can be hurting them. I had a mom who understood that if I said my clothing itched, it meant I would not be able to think of anything else all day, so she would not make me wear the clothing. Most kids are not that lucky. Itchy clothing was a major thing for me. It might not be for your daughter. Sounds are clearly a thing for her. She seems to need to make loud noise with her voice. It may be to drown out other sounds, or because of the sensation of the air in her mouth or lungs. Does she like it when you are loud? Or does she cover her ears? Loud music? These are all clues to help you figure out what is going on with her. Either way, something is going on with her senses. </p><p></p><p>The great thing about brushing therapy, especially when combined with the gentle joint compression, is that it is proven to change how the brain handles input from the senses. It actually changes the pathways in the brain. Essentially it rewires the brain! This is done without any medications. Children generally like the therapy because it feels good. It can be done under or over clothes, whatever is convenient and feels best to the child. You have to be taught this by an occupational therapist because if you do it incorrectly, you can create real problems for your child. If you brush the stomach area, you can create digestive problems, for example. Other than that, it is easy and fast and it makes such a change in your child. I can remember my mother was incredibly skeptical about this. She thought it was impossible for it to make any real change. Then she saw the change in Tyler's handwriting before brushing and after brushing. She was just astounded. She also saw how much more confident he was after. </p><p></p><p>The other aspect of Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) treatment is called a sensory diet. You work to make sure that your child has this every day, just like you provide a balanced nutritional diet. The sensory diet is a group of activities that she can do to provide different types of sensory input. For some reason my son used to spend hours watching tv while sitting on his head (yes, upside down). We always thought he was just being a weird kid, but actually there was something sensory about the pressure on his head and being upside down that he needed. Being my 3rd kid, it wouldn't have occurred to me to tell him to stop unless he was pestering his siblings with his feet or something. It was nice to let him do what he wanted and call it therapy though. The fun thing about sensory diets is that the activities your kids need are the ones they are drawn to. If they don't want to do an activity, or they hate an activity, they shouldn't do it. So you don't have to force it!!! I found that to be a big win for parenting - therapy that I didn't have to force! I just made sure he had lots of screen free time (time without electronic entertainment) to do things he found fun. </p><p></p><p>You can learn more about Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) by reading The Out of Sync Child by Kranowitz. It explains the disorder in detail and explains the ways to treat it. Most libraries have it. You can also read The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Kranowitz . If I could only buy one of these books, I would buy Has Fun. It truly is packed with fun activities for all types of sensory needs and ideas to make each activity less expensive. My family wore out several copies. Every kid in the neighborhood seemed to come running every time I got the book out. It truly is that much fun! Especially with the ages your kids are at.</p><p></p><p>Yes, this is a long post. I can write short ones, I think.</p><p></p><p>You need some other tools to help with your kids. One of the most powerful tools you can have is called a Parent Report. If you read my signature at the bottom of this post, you will see a link. If you click on it, it will take you to a thread about writing a Parent Report. The Parent Report is a report you write all about your daughter. All the good and the bad. You keep it with you and it keeps all of the information organized so that you can give the doctors anything they want to know at any appointment. You can give carefully selected parts of it to the school as you want them to know things. Always be careful with what you tell school. Don't write the Parent Report in one sitting, work on it in sections. I strongly recommend creating on to help with the years of doctors and therapists that will be ahead of you as you raise your daughter. She is worth it.</p><p></p><p>If you have not had her evaluated for an IEP, I encourage you to read the archives to explore how to do that, and what needs to be in a good IEP. Be aware that you must request an IEP in writing and you must send that request by certified mail, return receipt requested. That puts into place some federal protections for your daughter, which are truly important.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 721674, member: 1233"] Welcome!! Don't worry about writing too much or going on too long. I write a LOT! This will probably be a pretty long answer and won't be as well organized as yours. For a first post, yours was amazing! You got a ton of information across to us in a very clear and concise way. That is wonderful!!! I am not sure who is doing your evaluation coming up. It would help to know what sort of professional is doing this evaluation. Of course go, but do NOT turn anything over to the school right away,. Think about it and maybe come here and talk about it first. If they say nothing is wrong or that it is not autism, don't take it as gospel. There are a lot of wrong diagnosis in this sort of thing. When we first started looking for help for my oldest (Wiz), we were told that it takes an average of 7 years to get a correct diagnosis. It was frightening to hear. We were lucky in that we got a diagnosis that made sense from the first psychiatrist we took our son to. It is the diagnosis that held up when he went through extensive testing, and the one that he still has today. It just fits perfectly with his behavior and who he is. When other doctors tried to change it, they could never explain how their diagnosis fit his behavior in a way that made sense. This is rare Usually a child does not fit a diagnosis so clearly. My son had times where he did not fit the diagnosis so clearly (teenage hormones distorted things greatly, shudder). Most of the time, diagnosing a child is as much art as science. Take your time and be careful with what you believe in. Read, research, and make sure it makes sense to you in light of what you know about your child. Listen to your instincts above all else. If your instincts say that something is wrong, especially is they say it is really wrong, go with your instinct. The times I made really big mistakes are the times I ignored my instincts. Doctors and therapists and specialists are experts in whatever they studies. They are NOT NOT NOT experts in your child. You are the expert in your child. You carried your child in your body for months. You spend all day every day focused on your child. Sure, you think about other things, but most of what you do is for the benefit of your child. This makes you the unqualified expert in your child. (No matter what your father says.) This means that you can over-rule what the experts say if they are making no sense. Think carefully about what they say, of course, but always feel free to find another expert who will listen to you and do a better job if this expert is an idiot (because some of them just are idiots. Trust me.) Something is going on with your child. What you say about not understanding other people's point of view is classic autism. She sounds very high functioning, and of course girls are very different in how they present than boys are. One thing that many people don't seem to understand is that kids do well when they can. Not when they want to, when they are able to. Your daughter is getting into trouble and having trouble because she just doesn't understand what is being asked of her. Did you know that at one time adhd was considered a symptom of some types of autism? The type that my son has (once called Asperger's) was once considered to have adhd as a symptom. Now adhd is considered "comorbid", which is a fancy way of saying that it goes along with the autism. Whatever. Has your daughter ever been evaluated for sensory integration disorder? This is generally part of autism. Some people only have this, and some have this and many other symptoms of autism. What is Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)? Overwhelming!!! Your brain doesn't handle the input from your senses the way a normal person's brain does. This means that everything is too something. Too much, too little, but very rarely just right. Given your daughter's volume issues, I strongly suspect that she would benefit from occupational therapy. Of course she should have a hearing test first, but at least the school or her pediatrician should have done this already. I have Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and never knew what it was until I my 3rd child was about 4. He couldn't cope with preK every day. He would get overwhelmed and come home and shake for hours like he was cold. He wasn't cold. He was overwhelmed. If I sent him to school 3 or 4 days in a row, he would hide under a desk and pretty much be catatonic for a few hours. It really freaked out both the teachers and students because that is far from who he normally is. He just didn't have other signs of autism, so our psychiatrist sent us to an Occupational Therapist for an evaluation. We chose a private one rather than a school one because I wanted to know how it impacted his entire life rather than just his education. A school Occupational Therapist (OT) will only look at how the problem impacts the child's education. It was incredible. My child was significantly impaired in fine motor skills and had substantial sensory problems. Then the therapist tried gentle joint compressions to see what would happen. Tyler's confidence improved, his self esteem improved, and his motor skills improved. This was after less than 45 seconds of the therapist gently compressing his joints. It was shocking to me! At this point the therapist let my son play while she spoke with me. She told me that my child had Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and was quite impaired with it. He probably couldn't handle a 5 day school week and might not be able to for some time. In our next session she taught me brushing therapy, which included those joint compressions. I had done some reading and was inspired. It still took us 4 years to get my son to a 5 day school week, but our school worked with us and never held it against him. I think brushing therapy is something your daughter would likely benefit from. Children with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) experience a world that is attacking them. It is too loud, or not loud enough. Their clothes can be hurting them. I had a mom who understood that if I said my clothing itched, it meant I would not be able to think of anything else all day, so she would not make me wear the clothing. Most kids are not that lucky. Itchy clothing was a major thing for me. It might not be for your daughter. Sounds are clearly a thing for her. She seems to need to make loud noise with her voice. It may be to drown out other sounds, or because of the sensation of the air in her mouth or lungs. Does she like it when you are loud? Or does she cover her ears? Loud music? These are all clues to help you figure out what is going on with her. Either way, something is going on with her senses. The great thing about brushing therapy, especially when combined with the gentle joint compression, is that it is proven to change how the brain handles input from the senses. It actually changes the pathways in the brain. Essentially it rewires the brain! This is done without any medications. Children generally like the therapy because it feels good. It can be done under or over clothes, whatever is convenient and feels best to the child. You have to be taught this by an occupational therapist because if you do it incorrectly, you can create real problems for your child. If you brush the stomach area, you can create digestive problems, for example. Other than that, it is easy and fast and it makes such a change in your child. I can remember my mother was incredibly skeptical about this. She thought it was impossible for it to make any real change. Then she saw the change in Tyler's handwriting before brushing and after brushing. She was just astounded. She also saw how much more confident he was after. The other aspect of Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) treatment is called a sensory diet. You work to make sure that your child has this every day, just like you provide a balanced nutritional diet. The sensory diet is a group of activities that she can do to provide different types of sensory input. For some reason my son used to spend hours watching tv while sitting on his head (yes, upside down). We always thought he was just being a weird kid, but actually there was something sensory about the pressure on his head and being upside down that he needed. Being my 3rd kid, it wouldn't have occurred to me to tell him to stop unless he was pestering his siblings with his feet or something. It was nice to let him do what he wanted and call it therapy though. The fun thing about sensory diets is that the activities your kids need are the ones they are drawn to. If they don't want to do an activity, or they hate an activity, they shouldn't do it. So you don't have to force it!!! I found that to be a big win for parenting - therapy that I didn't have to force! I just made sure he had lots of screen free time (time without electronic entertainment) to do things he found fun. You can learn more about Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) by reading The Out of Sync Child by Kranowitz. It explains the disorder in detail and explains the ways to treat it. Most libraries have it. You can also read The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Kranowitz . If I could only buy one of these books, I would buy Has Fun. It truly is packed with fun activities for all types of sensory needs and ideas to make each activity less expensive. My family wore out several copies. Every kid in the neighborhood seemed to come running every time I got the book out. It truly is that much fun! Especially with the ages your kids are at. Yes, this is a long post. I can write short ones, I think. You need some other tools to help with your kids. One of the most powerful tools you can have is called a Parent Report. If you read my signature at the bottom of this post, you will see a link. If you click on it, it will take you to a thread about writing a Parent Report. The Parent Report is a report you write all about your daughter. All the good and the bad. You keep it with you and it keeps all of the information organized so that you can give the doctors anything they want to know at any appointment. You can give carefully selected parts of it to the school as you want them to know things. Always be careful with what you tell school. Don't write the Parent Report in one sitting, work on it in sections. I strongly recommend creating on to help with the years of doctors and therapists that will be ahead of you as you raise your daughter. She is worth it. If you have not had her evaluated for an IEP, I encourage you to read the archives to explore how to do that, and what needs to be in a good IEP. Be aware that you must request an IEP in writing and you must send that request by certified mail, return receipt requested. That puts into place some federal protections for your daughter, which are truly important. [/QUOTE]
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