And so it continues…

Carri

Active Member
I just need to put this out there as writing it down makes it real. My 37 year old son was released from prison Friday afternoon. This isn’t his first time. What hurts is that he’s once again chosen to go back “out”. The CDCR called me looking for him as he wasn’t answering his cell phone. They wanted to be sure he had gone where he was supposed to. What ever that means. No call from him so I guess it’s time for another cycle of drugs, homelessness, arrests, hospitals… Strange that he gave them my number. When will it end?
 

BusynMember1

Well-Known Member
Hi.

I am so very sorry for your hurting heart. I am in Nar Anon and have been for many years and have heard many stories like yours and the answer is always the same. He will do better when/if he wants to and.nothing you say or do will change that...if you worry until you are sick, it still won't change his chosen path. It was hard for me to accept this, but it seems to be true....at least from all I've heard. There are happy and sad endings but none of them have anything to do with us, the parents.

In Nar Anon we encourage Mom and Dad to focus on themselves and stop the madness and insanity of trying to control this horrible, sad disease of addiction.

There are three Cs that I use whenever I think of my daughter, who is homeless and using. The three Cs mean...I did not CAUSE it, I can not CONTROL it and I can not CURE it. This helps me alot because I always thought I was a horrible mother if I did not try, try, try. Sometimes just having fun made me feel guilty because she was suffering. Or I thought she was. I no longer think I know what makes her suffer...she has written on social media and told a few cousins that she.us free from the rat race and happy.now.

I have learned over a span of years to let go of her outcome and I give her to God who can take care of her. I can't and other loved ones need me to be well. None of this was easy for me so I know it's hard for you. Brutal at times. But we can do this. We can have a good life even with kids that choose not to have good lives.

Sending love and hugs.
 

Carri

Active Member
I’m a hardcore naranon member myself. I don’t know how I could have survived without it. All of what you said it spot on yet it still hurts. Thanks for your kind words.
 

Nandina

Member
Carri, I am so sorry you are dealing with this hurt. My 21 year old son is currently in jail and I dread the day he is released if he doesn’t have some sort of support on the outside so that he doesn’t end up back on the streets, homeless and doing drugs (can’t live with us).

I wish I could offer more other than to let you know I’m thinking of you and you’re not alone. This is all very new to me. It sounds like you’ve been down this road before and that at least you know how to take care of yourself as you’ve done in the past although it certainly doesn’t get any easier. I pray that there will be a better outcome for your son this time. His choice, of course.

Sending hugs.
 

newstart

Well-Known Member
I just need to put this out there as writing it down makes it real. My 37 year old son was released from prison Friday afternoon. This isn’t his first time. What hurts is that he’s once again chosen to go back “out”. The CDCR called me looking for him as he wasn’t answering his cell phone. They wanted to be sure he had gone where he was supposed to. What ever that means. No call from him so I guess it’s time for another cycle of drugs, homelessness, arrests, hospitals… Strange that he gave them my number. When will it end?
Carri, I am so sorry for your agony. Hopefully your son thought about himself turning 40 in a few short years and something in his brain kicks in and he gets on the straight and narrow. This is my deepest prayer for you. My brothers wife has a down syndrome niece age 45. This beautiful girl works in a law office. She is a delight to be around, she is witty and funny. I am glad you have your precious daughter.
 
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