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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 753000" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Update: Rain called, wanting to come over. She left abusive boyfriend and is back with former boyfriend who has been known to be full of bs but not abusive. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite5" alt=":confused:" title="Confused :confused:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":confused:" /></p><p>I figured maybe being around family for a bit could help her see the value of her own life. So, I met them at Walmart, got takeout and went home. Kids were busy getting ready for a Halloween function.</p><p>Then comes the stories. “We have an apartment.”</p><p>Great, is it true? I don’t know. They both have bulging backpacks. Huh. Supposedly, they left their apartment because now ex abusive boyfriend is sending his street minions to stalk Rain. Old, new boyfriend starts to rant about how he is going to “kick his ......” I stop him and say that I don’t allow that kind of talk in my home, especially around my traumatized grands. He apologized. I say “Call the cops, this is terroristic threatening”, look at Rain and tell her she is no one’s property.</p><p>This guy is trying to convince Rain to go back to the hospital. Her leg is gruesome looking. I can tell through the bandage she is wearing. “Wait till you see it with the wrap off” boyfriend says as Rain rolls her eyeballs. “I don’t need to, her leg is swollen and purple, she needs to be in the hospital.” More eyeball rolls and protests that it’s getting better.</p><p>Sigh.</p><p>Of course, she wants to shower.</p><p>So afterwards, I am looking at this festering mess, skin peeling off and oozing fluid. I don’t know if it is cellulitis or flesh eating bacteria.</p><p>She won’t go to the hospital. After boyfriend wrapped it, they ask to be dropped off at their supposed apartment. boyfriend tells me he has my number and if anything happens with stalking ex boyfriend, he wants Rain to be able to “chill at my house.”</p><p>Uh no, call the police. I have my grands, they don’t need to be involved in the circus.</p><p>Give it to God, Leafy. I repeat to myself over and over.</p><p>This morning comes the internal questions. Why would anyone make such a display of their affliction to a loved one, a mother, then repeatedly refuse medical care? </p><p>It is emotional abuse, entrapment, a degradation. Mental illness.</p><p> A game.</p><p> Addiction.</p><p>I can’t allow myself to ride the emotional rollercoaster of worry. Somehow, I have developed over the years this stoicism with my two, or is it that my heart is scarred by years of this craziness? I wrestle with myself, the utter reality that I can’t make Rain do anything, the fact that my heart is not sinking into despair, and the old saying “Lest I grow cold.”</p><p>My own advice to others that love says no. No to enabling, but also no to synchronistically spiraling into this pit my two continue to dig for themselves. As I write to others, I am repeatedly driving that into my very being.</p><p>Love says no.</p><p>It is what it is has had to be my mantra, lest I go <em>mad</em>. Or, maybe I am there? I don’t know.</p><p>All I know is that <em>none</em> of what has transpired with my two through these years makes any sense. Twilight zone. Bizarre. Insanity. Darkness.</p><p>My grands are afraid of the dark. I have nightlights everywhere to help ease their fear. Sams club had these led candles on sale and I set them up to automatically turn on at dusk. I am surprised at how much I like them. </p><p>They are a comforting visual reminder that whisper with their flickering glow “Stay in the light Leafy, stay in the light.”</p><p>God help us all.</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 753000, member: 19522"] Update: Rain called, wanting to come over. She left abusive boyfriend and is back with former boyfriend who has been known to be full of bs but not abusive. :confused: I figured maybe being around family for a bit could help her see the value of her own life. So, I met them at Walmart, got takeout and went home. Kids were busy getting ready for a Halloween function. Then comes the stories. “We have an apartment.” Great, is it true? I don’t know. They both have bulging backpacks. Huh. Supposedly, they left their apartment because now ex abusive boyfriend is sending his street minions to stalk Rain. Old, new boyfriend starts to rant about how he is going to “kick his ......” I stop him and say that I don’t allow that kind of talk in my home, especially around my traumatized grands. He apologized. I say “Call the cops, this is terroristic threatening”, look at Rain and tell her she is no one’s property. This guy is trying to convince Rain to go back to the hospital. Her leg is gruesome looking. I can tell through the bandage she is wearing. “Wait till you see it with the wrap off” boyfriend says as Rain rolls her eyeballs. “I don’t need to, her leg is swollen and purple, she needs to be in the hospital.” More eyeball rolls and protests that it’s getting better. Sigh. Of course, she wants to shower. So afterwards, I am looking at this festering mess, skin peeling off and oozing fluid. I don’t know if it is cellulitis or flesh eating bacteria. She won’t go to the hospital. After boyfriend wrapped it, they ask to be dropped off at their supposed apartment. boyfriend tells me he has my number and if anything happens with stalking ex boyfriend, he wants Rain to be able to “chill at my house.” Uh no, call the police. I have my grands, they don’t need to be involved in the circus. Give it to God, Leafy. I repeat to myself over and over. This morning comes the internal questions. Why would anyone make such a display of their affliction to a loved one, a mother, then repeatedly refuse medical care? It is emotional abuse, entrapment, a degradation. Mental illness. A game. Addiction. I can’t allow myself to ride the emotional rollercoaster of worry. Somehow, I have developed over the years this stoicism with my two, or is it that my heart is scarred by years of this craziness? I wrestle with myself, the utter reality that I can’t make Rain do anything, the fact that my heart is not sinking into despair, and the old saying “Lest I grow cold.” My own advice to others that love says no. No to enabling, but also no to synchronistically spiraling into this pit my two continue to dig for themselves. As I write to others, I am repeatedly driving that into my very being. Love says no. It is what it is has had to be my mantra, lest I go [I]mad[/I]. Or, maybe I am there? I don’t know. All I know is that [I]none[/I] of what has transpired with my two through these years makes any sense. Twilight zone. Bizarre. Insanity. Darkness. My grands are afraid of the dark. I have nightlights everywhere to help ease their fear. Sams club had these led candles on sale and I set them up to automatically turn on at dusk. I am surprised at how much I like them. They are a comforting visual reminder that whisper with their flickering glow “Stay in the light Leafy, stay in the light.” God help us all. New Leaf [/QUOTE]
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