Antisosial personality disorder

Hi every one

How do you navigate your relationship with some one with ASPD...especially regarding boundaries ( in our country we are responsible for maintenance)....how do you cope with low motivation, addiction, not being sucked in by their proses....
Has any of your kids been diagnosed with other diagnosis, before this, for example autism spectrum, bipolar, ADHD.....
How do you deal with not knowing what is truths and whats not....and just in general...
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I am very sorry about this unfortunate situation. You must be very tired. Be good to you and make some time to relax and do things you love to do. It helps.

People with antisocial personality disorder, and all personality disorders, often do not tell the truth and my best advice is to just take their words with a grain of salt. Lying and manipulating others are parts of a sad and serious disorder that can wear us out. Of yet, there is really no treatment because the people don't want help. So it's a real challenge for us.
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Do you need to care for him all of his life,? If so you may consider joining some group that offers a strong support system so that you are not alone... whether it is mental health support group or a strong Church family or even just regular contact with kind friends.

There is a book on Amazon called Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. This helped me a lot. Maybe try it?

Hugs and love.
 

MissLulu

Well-Known Member
Dear Sunshine,
I’m sorry you find yourself here.

Many of us here have children diagnosed with behavioural, personality or mood disorders. What I have learned is that the diagnosis matters less than the behaviour.

Can I ask how old your child is? It makes it easier to discuss coping strategies when we know if your child is an adult or a minor. I’m assuming from your comment about maintenance that your child is a minor, so I probably can’t provide specific advice because my child did not go off the rails until he was an adult. There are many others here with experience, though.

Keep posting. I find it helps to share my feelings when I’m struggling.
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
My son doesn't have this problem, so I have no advice to offer other than you need to realize you didn't cause this. I think these kids are born that way. They get diagnosed with everything under the sun before they get diagnosed with aspd.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
In the USA the diagnosis of ASPD is not given until maturity. Instead, there is the diagnosis of CD or Conduct Disorder before the criteria of ASPD can be met. The idea behind this distinction is complex. But basically, there is the recognition that disordered conduct can be correlated with immaturity and that upon maturity there can be behavioral change, and the individual would no longer fit the diagnosis.

Almost all of us here, regardless of diagnoses, are dealing with a loved one
with low motivation, addiction, not being sucked in
The key to our survival is internal boundaries. By that, I mean acceptance of what is, and working through guilt, fear, personal disappointments, anger, and the ways we are triggered based upon our own past experience. If we have good internal boundaries, we don't "get sucked in," don't take the manipulations and disappointments personally, and have the clarity, strength, and distance to make adequate external boundaries.

In my own experience, this is very hard to do. I myself have been a very slow learner.
 

Zopdrop

New Member
I believe my son has antisocial personality disorder as well. He fits the description perfectly (he's 23 yrs old). At his last psychiatric hospital stay (for about a week), the psychiatrist treating him told us that is what he likely has. Unfortunately he is unwilling to get any help. I am really struggling with setting and keeping boundaries with him. He doesn't live at home right now, but is constantly begging me to move back. The one positive in all of this, is my son is very truthful to me. Which can be a double edged sword, as it is very hard to hear all the horrible thoughts he has. But he tells me how much he is drinking (and it's alot), what things he has trashed, what he has said to people, etc. He has no friends so I am his sounding board. But he is still manipulative. He makes promises he doesn't keep. I think when he says things, he truly thinks he will follow through, but rarely does.
I am very, very slowly starting to let go.
 
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