Any ideas how/why addicts use a pocketknife?

Newksm

Member
Most of you here know that our adopted granddaughter who's 22 and her son that is two have been living with us this year. Earlier today, she was getting ready for work and he went to her room and I was trying to get him ready to leave in the car with us. I went into the room to get him and he was in her closet and when I went to pick him up I saw my small Swiss Army knife on the floor of her closet with the blade out. I was upset because it was where he could have picked it up.

But her reaction to that made me wonder if it was used with drugs. She was very defensive about having it and said she probably used it to open mail. This is a very small probably 2 in long knife I bought as a souvenir in Switzerland about 20 years ago. The knife blade is probably only about an inch and a half long. It was probably in some of my belongings in that room that she moved back into when she moved home. There was also a basket on the floor that had some small bottles of perfume, three or four matchbooks and a few miscellaneous items.

I know she's not thrilled living with us. But I don't think she could cope caring for her son by herself. She is working about 5 days a week for six or seven hour shifts. But she seems too tired to spend much time interacting with him. She usually works from 4:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. two or three times a week and other shifts she may get off by 6:00 or 8:00 p.m. many times she gets a ride home from work and doesn't come home till the next morning. She only spends one or two hours a day with her son and even then those are not always positive experiences for him. Today she was too tired to have much patience with him.

Next week she has her first appointment for a 10-week attachment parenting class. This is something I have been pushing for for quite some time after I heard about it. A therapist comes to your home 1 hour a week for 10 weeks and helps parents learn attachment parenting skills. To be honest, it has been fairly chaotic since her son was born. The times when the baby's father was with her was abusive. They were evicted from their low-income apartment because of the way the apartment was kept and how disruptive they were to their neighbors with their arguing. She and the baby's father have not been together since the first of the year and he has reunited with his estranged wife who is now expecting.

After she moved back here it was rough. I have posted about it before. Anyway...if anyone knows why a small knife would be in a closet let me know. Maybe I am jumping to the wrong conclusion... but maybe not. Newksm
 

Newksm

Member
Thanks, Ascending... I guess I will never know. She used to be a cutter in high school, but would use razor blades removed from disposable razors. She has plastic ID cards thar she would probably use instead of a tiny knife. Several months ago she did use a knife , an apple and a glass tube to make a pipe for weed. (Shaking my head)

Newksm
 

squish

New Member
I used to be a poly addict and my pocket knife was priceless during my use. I'd use it to cut up prescription pain killers and crush them for a better high, I'd use it to take small crystals of ketamine out of a bag to snort directly off the knife (same with cocaine etc). I'd even scrape empty baggies for every single little crystal using the knife. It could be any of these, or it might not be. There's no real way to know for certain. Did you check for any residue on the blade?
 

Newksm

Member
No, I didn't. I was busy getting her 2yo out of her closet when I saw the tiny Swiss Army knife. She picked it up and I haven't seen it since. But thanks for sharing possibilities. Her doctor has been meth...
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
How is your energy level regarding taking care of the 2 year old these days? Is your granddaughter doing any better?
 

Newksm

Member
Things are somewhat better...she is working 30 to 35 hours a week. She is giving me some money from her paychecks. She did paperwork with DCF and now has food stamps of about $300 a month. She could have been getting that 6 months ago! It takes forever to get her to do anything. Like applying for child care, child support, WIC, making and keeping appts.

I am afraid she will never move out of our home. She is not good at keeping her room picked up, laundry done, or help with housework or being very hands on with her son. But I am afraid for her to take little guy to an apartment and be responsible for him.

I feel in limbo...not many scenarios I can live with... newksm
 

squish

New Member
Things are somewhat better...she is working 30 to 35 hours a week. She is giving me some money from her paychecks. She did paperwork with DCF and now has food stamps of about $300 a month. She could have been getting that 6 months ago! It takes forever to get her to do anything. Like applying for child care, child support, WIC, making and keeping appts.

I am afraid she will never move out of our home. She is not good at keeping her room picked up, laundry done, or help with housework or being very hands on with her son. But I am afraid for her to take little guy to an apartment and be responsible for him.

I feel in limbo...not many scenarios I can live with... newksm
I used to be very similar when I was addicted to oxycodone, I didn't realise how bad it was for my family too. It sounds very similar to your situation unfortunately. It was very hard to find motivation and all I wanted to do was hide from my problems and stay in bed all day. It took me a while before I felt I was ready to even face quitting or trying to get better. The main issue I felt was the scrutiny from other people, every time I was called an addict or told I wasn't good enough. All I'd do is take more to remove the pain I felt from those words, asking myself why I wasn't good enough and getting deeper and deeper into that brutal cycle. Sometimes support and understanding is the best way to help people through times like these, most people start taking drugs for near enough the same reason. Pain, and lots of it. No one ever really realised how bad it was because I never spoke to anyone about it. And that's the main issue around drugs. A lot of people don't really understand why people get into that cycle. They have no idea how much people are actually struggling, on the outside they seem perfectly normal. Everybody is different but what helped me was knowing I had people around me that understood my situation and didn't pass any judgement for my reasons for taking. At the end of the day the only person who can make anyone quit is themselves. They have to come to that decision on their own, all you can do is gently guide them to try make that decision. Depending on the drug of choice or if they are even taking any, some will be more difficult then others but they need to know it is possible. And if they tell themselves it's possible, they will do it. if you're still unsure if they're taking anything, it might be good to even just ask, it might be difficult and you might not want to hear the answer but it's important to tell them you're not going to judge and you just want to help, when I was in this situation I was very worried about being judged or seen differently because of it. And I think that might be made even worse if they have a child too as they might be worried the child might be taken from them. Let us know how it goes! I wish you and your grand daughter the best.
 
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