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Substance Abuse
Article about abuse of parents by their drug addicted children
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759945" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Ms. Lulu</p><p></p><p>I found this article incredibly sad and completely and unfortunately accurate, based upon my own situation. I am left with a question.</p><p></p><p>The parents hold onto the idea that the drug is the culpable party, not their child. In this way, the bond with the child is easier to repair because the drug, not the child, holds the bag--is the odd man out.</p><p></p><p>But really, isn't this a cop-out? The drug and the child have become the same thing. The child has been so changed by the drug-seeking behavior, the effects of the drug, and the lifestyle brought on by and through drug use, to in effect, become the drug. Isn't this why we see certain personality types associated with specific drugs? I think this is why these people need long treatment programs, because absent this, they become so to speak "dry drunks." Their drug use might stop, but the personality effects remain.</p><p></p><p>But the reason I ask is this: If we parents begin to hold the child directly responsible, will this help us? By "saving" the child, by indicting the drug, do we keep ourselves on the hook? Is there some freedom for us, if we have the courage and honesty to actually look at ourselves in the mirror, and say, my child has come to be intolerable and unsafe. This is who he/she is now. It's not the drug's fault. It's my child's choice based upon who he or she is right now. Whatever beautiful baby and loving child that once existed, is no more. (And along with this, is the necessity to face squarely that there are personal choice and responsibility involved-even for the mentally ill child--even 1 percent is something. )And in this way, could there be some solace for us?</p><p></p><p>It seems to be that as long as we indict the drug, we remain on the hook. I know I do. </p><p></p><p>Thank you very much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759945, member: 18958"] Hi Ms. Lulu I found this article incredibly sad and completely and unfortunately accurate, based upon my own situation. I am left with a question. The parents hold onto the idea that the drug is the culpable party, not their child. In this way, the bond with the child is easier to repair because the drug, not the child, holds the bag--is the odd man out. But really, isn't this a cop-out? The drug and the child have become the same thing. The child has been so changed by the drug-seeking behavior, the effects of the drug, and the lifestyle brought on by and through drug use, to in effect, become the drug. Isn't this why we see certain personality types associated with specific drugs? I think this is why these people need long treatment programs, because absent this, they become so to speak "dry drunks." Their drug use might stop, but the personality effects remain. But the reason I ask is this: If we parents begin to hold the child directly responsible, will this help us? By "saving" the child, by indicting the drug, do we keep ourselves on the hook? Is there some freedom for us, if we have the courage and honesty to actually look at ourselves in the mirror, and say, my child has come to be intolerable and unsafe. This is who he/she is now. It's not the drug's fault. It's my child's choice based upon who he or she is right now. Whatever beautiful baby and loving child that once existed, is no more. (And along with this, is the necessity to face squarely that there are personal choice and responsibility involved-even for the mentally ill child--even 1 percent is something. )And in this way, could there be some solace for us? It seems to be that as long as we indict the drug, we remain on the hook. I know I do. Thank you very much. [/QUOTE]
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