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At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 756507" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Oh no!</p><p>Oh no! Will you get paid sick leave?</p><p></p><p>OK. Let's look at the bright side. I am assuming you will be paid, so you won't have money worries. And you say you feel fine! That's a good start! So. Your time is your own. What do you like to do? What do you love to do? I don't know the rules for quarantine but here in California we're all on lock down. But we can leave the house to walk the dog, for example, and to take walks ourselves. As long as we stay 6 feet away from anybody. I am wondering if you can leave the house, but if you have a yard you can garden!</p><p></p><p>The thing is all of us need to come up with a plan in these trying times. If we let these circumtances work on us, we end up beat up by it. So the challenge is defining our days for ourselves, proactively. I am trying in the evening to think about what I want my day to be. I'm not doing fantastic but I'm doing better.</p><p></p><p>I have come to love housework, after a lifetime of avoidance. I'm spending my days doing windows and venetian blinds and washing floors! And organziing. Of course, I can't assume anybody else likes this. </p><p></p><p>Did I mention that in CA most of us can't go anywhere except to buy food and get emergency medical treatment? It's for an indefinite period. I'm in a higher-risk age-group so I'm taking this very seriously. I live alone, and I am grateful for it.</p><p>Look OW. Rule number 1. We can't change anybody. People are allowed to be who they are. The only control we have is the distance we put between us, and our expectations. Typically, we control this to a large extent.</p><p></p><p>You have choices here. Choice one would be to keep feeling bad if she doesn't act like the sister you want. Same goes for the other ones. We can pine and pine and wonder what's wrong with us that they treat us so? Or we can catch a clue and let them be. And go look elsewhere. Or look to ourselves which is what I'm trying to do. I have become quite spiritually-minded and I am trying to learn to be with that place in me, where everything is complete and whole. And learning to identify the way my thoughts lead me to feel painful emotions. We don't have to believe the stories our minds tell us. We can decide to think something else. I am not judging here. But if you know a well is dry, why keep going back? Who has the problem, if they keep going to a dry well? Who has the power to change that?</p><p></p><p>I know this because I am the same way.</p><p></p><p>This is truly an exciting time for us OW. We can change.</p><p></p><p>I am really quite concerned and frightened about the Coronavirus. Both for my own health and that of loved ones, and also economically. Plans that were imminent, involving making money, are now impacted. And I lost some money in investments. Not a great deal but enough to feel bad about it.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is, I do think that the sense of urgency and powerlessness has a positive side. It gets our attention. We have to live in the present, in the moment. Because nobody knows just what will happen from day to day. Everything is out of our hands, except the crucially important thing we usually ignore: how we feel; what we think; our consciousness; our emotional needs. And what we need to do right now, right this minute to feel contentment, peace, serenity,, ease. And what we need to do to restore that, if it's not there.</p><p></p><p>I am by no means making light of our situations, What I am telling myself, is to look for the silver liining.</p><p></p><p>I'm going to rest now and read a book. Be well, OW and everybody.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 756507, member: 18958"] Oh no! Oh no! Will you get paid sick leave? OK. Let's look at the bright side. I am assuming you will be paid, so you won't have money worries. And you say you feel fine! That's a good start! So. Your time is your own. What do you like to do? What do you love to do? I don't know the rules for quarantine but here in California we're all on lock down. But we can leave the house to walk the dog, for example, and to take walks ourselves. As long as we stay 6 feet away from anybody. I am wondering if you can leave the house, but if you have a yard you can garden! The thing is all of us need to come up with a plan in these trying times. If we let these circumtances work on us, we end up beat up by it. So the challenge is defining our days for ourselves, proactively. I am trying in the evening to think about what I want my day to be. I'm not doing fantastic but I'm doing better. I have come to love housework, after a lifetime of avoidance. I'm spending my days doing windows and venetian blinds and washing floors! And organziing. Of course, I can't assume anybody else likes this. Did I mention that in CA most of us can't go anywhere except to buy food and get emergency medical treatment? It's for an indefinite period. I'm in a higher-risk age-group so I'm taking this very seriously. I live alone, and I am grateful for it. Look OW. Rule number 1. We can't change anybody. People are allowed to be who they are. The only control we have is the distance we put between us, and our expectations. Typically, we control this to a large extent. You have choices here. Choice one would be to keep feeling bad if she doesn't act like the sister you want. Same goes for the other ones. We can pine and pine and wonder what's wrong with us that they treat us so? Or we can catch a clue and let them be. And go look elsewhere. Or look to ourselves which is what I'm trying to do. I have become quite spiritually-minded and I am trying to learn to be with that place in me, where everything is complete and whole. And learning to identify the way my thoughts lead me to feel painful emotions. We don't have to believe the stories our minds tell us. We can decide to think something else. I am not judging here. But if you know a well is dry, why keep going back? Who has the problem, if they keep going to a dry well? Who has the power to change that? I know this because I am the same way. This is truly an exciting time for us OW. We can change. I am really quite concerned and frightened about the Coronavirus. Both for my own health and that of loved ones, and also economically. Plans that were imminent, involving making money, are now impacted. And I lost some money in investments. Not a great deal but enough to feel bad about it. But the thing is, I do think that the sense of urgency and powerlessness has a positive side. It gets our attention. We have to live in the present, in the moment. Because nobody knows just what will happen from day to day. Everything is out of our hands, except the crucially important thing we usually ignore: how we feel; what we think; our consciousness; our emotional needs. And what we need to do right now, right this minute to feel contentment, peace, serenity,, ease. And what we need to do to restore that, if it's not there. I am by no means making light of our situations, What I am telling myself, is to look for the silver liining. I'm going to rest now and read a book. Be well, OW and everybody. [/QUOTE]
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