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At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 756537" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>It sounds like the same thinking as someone who is on drugs to me though. Not that they are, I've noticed a very close similarity with mental illness. I know if I talked to a professional who didn't understand that it's really not a two way street, not arguments but rather being attacked they wouldn't get it. It's been more of a situation where I need to protect myself because it would be very distressful for me. Right now I'm thinking more of your living situation, with your son. The moment by moment with your son in your house seems to be something to address first. But I could be wrong, I don't have this kind of stuff coming at me from all sides like you have. I'm so sorry you have this. I'm still thinking a therapist who deals with family members of someone who's addicted, or mentally ill if you can find one of them. I haven't been able to.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Congratulations! Me too! Except you don't act or think like a narcissist or you would not be here. People like that don't take on what we do. They posture for the public. They don't over caretake others to their own detriment. Her calling you a narcissist kind of tells me she has narcissist tendencies ~ merely projection. </p><p></p><p>I remember those incredibly confusing days. The "is it me?", "I should have remained calm", "maybe I should have done.... or said...". "Why do I react like I do to them?", "Why do I get along with everyone else but can't do family right?" It's not you, they are playing you. Maybe not mostly intentionally but it seems to me they know if they can continue to control you they can get what they want from you, not at a thinking level but at a lower visceral level.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Within those neighbors are a couple of gems. Not that you can share much of what's going on in your home with them now but rather they know you are good people and will be there when the time comes, and it will, when you are looking for normal contact just to talk about trivial things with normal people, people to share with, people to laugh with and such. I'm so grateful for my neighbors these days. There are two of them who are not good neighbors, were not before, during or after my son's antics. But I've got a bunch who are great, I just counted ~ 7, and I appreciate them even more the last couple of weeks.</p><p></p><p>You will get there. I'm not saying everything will be perfect but as you work through this things do get better little by little. You may never have children who will appreciate you, but I'm finding what I thought I needed most is really not what I actually need. I need me more than anything or anyone else. Just words to you right now, I know, It's a process and it waxes and wains as you go on. You deserve so much better than you have right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 756537, member: 22840"] It sounds like the same thinking as someone who is on drugs to me though. Not that they are, I've noticed a very close similarity with mental illness. I know if I talked to a professional who didn't understand that it's really not a two way street, not arguments but rather being attacked they wouldn't get it. It's been more of a situation where I need to protect myself because it would be very distressful for me. Right now I'm thinking more of your living situation, with your son. The moment by moment with your son in your house seems to be something to address first. But I could be wrong, I don't have this kind of stuff coming at me from all sides like you have. I'm so sorry you have this. I'm still thinking a therapist who deals with family members of someone who's addicted, or mentally ill if you can find one of them. I haven't been able to. Congratulations! Me too! Except you don't act or think like a narcissist or you would not be here. People like that don't take on what we do. They posture for the public. They don't over caretake others to their own detriment. Her calling you a narcissist kind of tells me she has narcissist tendencies ~ merely projection. I remember those incredibly confusing days. The "is it me?", "I should have remained calm", "maybe I should have done.... or said...". "Why do I react like I do to them?", "Why do I get along with everyone else but can't do family right?" It's not you, they are playing you. Maybe not mostly intentionally but it seems to me they know if they can continue to control you they can get what they want from you, not at a thinking level but at a lower visceral level. Within those neighbors are a couple of gems. Not that you can share much of what's going on in your home with them now but rather they know you are good people and will be there when the time comes, and it will, when you are looking for normal contact just to talk about trivial things with normal people, people to share with, people to laugh with and such. I'm so grateful for my neighbors these days. There are two of them who are not good neighbors, were not before, during or after my son's antics. But I've got a bunch who are great, I just counted ~ 7, and I appreciate them even more the last couple of weeks. You will get there. I'm not saying everything will be perfect but as you work through this things do get better little by little. You may never have children who will appreciate you, but I'm finding what I thought I needed most is really not what I actually need. I need me more than anything or anyone else. Just words to you right now, I know, It's a process and it waxes and wains as you go on. You deserve so much better than you have right now. [/QUOTE]
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