I need some of the wisdom I always find in the posts here. Between healing from my broken arm and teaching, I've just barely been keeping up. My 33 year old son was released from 5 months prison into a month rehab. The good part is that I think he's trying. The bad is that even though I helped him with $5,000 this year, he's asking for help to go into sober living. Even his counselor seems to have pushed him to ask. My son is very unrealistic with lofty goals that quickly fall apart. No humility. He feels abandoned because I will not let him live at our home. He has never apologized for assaulting his stepdad and for destroying property. He believes he can call the shots about how to behave, and is intimidating. I also had to say no to my daughter because of her choices. They both have substance abuse issues, mental health issues, and make poor, short-sighted choices. I had a visit with him on Christmas today at rehab, and it all fell apart. He has a young counselor, who kept asking me to not bring up the past. I said all my decisions about why I can't give him a place are based on past behavior - it's all I have to go on. My son said no one in the family cares about him, when in truth they are disappointed, frustrated, afraid, and just plain done. He can't see his part. Said he will probably end up selling drugs again, and that his pride will not let him go to a homeless shelter. This has been going on for almost 20 years, as I had to kick him out when he was 17. The visit ruined the rest of Christmas, it ruins my life. How do I let go? How do I give up the guilt? My therapist says I need to cut contact. Even the my son's counselor says I should take that advice. How do I do this? I keep failing at it. No matter what happens, I never say, "Enough!"