Hello all. I've been gone for about a month from the site. We went on a week's vacation and, because I was getting some non-hostile texts from our son Josh decided to take a break from the site. I was hoping maybe I might be able to coax him to talk on the phone and maybe find a way to go to Denver to see him. Today I am upset, fearful, anxious. I have not been able to get him to call and talk on the phone, only text messages here and there, but I did learn that he was renting a room recently. I have no idea what he's doing for work since he no longer has a car. Last night, he texted me something about "I'm cold tonight stupid B..tch. I hat u. I hope that you don't sleep like me." I immediately called his number, and he answered, but would only scream and curse at me for wasting his phone charge, and then he hung up and would not respond the rest of the night. I am beside myself with worry. There is nothing we can do other than wait and pray. I'm so afraid we will finally permanently lose him. At the same time, I have moments when I wish we would just break off all contact and be done with it. His problems and the fear and anxiety connected with them, have controlled our lives for almost 2 years now. It's so overwhelming.