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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 760995" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Thank you, thank you, thank you Busy, Deni, and newstart and your familiar and encouraging voices.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I have thought that my son uses my address to keep a connection, but I also know that I could be putting my assets in danger, which is why I felt the need to try to set this boundary again.</p><p></p><p>I sent a text to saying that I have concerns about the discrepancy between his income and spending, and that I don't judge him, but for my own well-being, now that he has his own place he needs to do a change of address in the next month. He also needs to set up a payment plan and put the electricity in his name within a month. I said I love him and want a healthy relationship with him. </p><p></p><p>He called an hour ago. I shouldn't have answered. What he said: He's not dealing, he buys and trades cars is how he makes money. He is stressed and on the verge of relapse. He's the best friend in my life and has always treated me well (so far from the truth as to be ludicrous). I and my husband are scumbags. He can't change his address. A veiled threat: he's not coming after me, but he's a mean, psychotic guy who beats up people, but he doesn't like to show me that side. He said people are afraid of him. He said he may decide to go back to dealing and make tens of thousands of dollars.</p><p></p><p>I told him I'm afraid of him and I don't want anything to do with someone who hurts other people. Over the years he has threatened, especially when he gets angry because the manipulation and intimidation works to get me to cave. </p><p></p><p>I am pretty shaken up. I am going to try to calm down and figure out a plan tomorrow.</p><p>Again thank for the support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 760995, member: 19832"] Thank you, thank you, thank you Busy, Deni, and newstart and your familiar and encouraging voices. Yes, I have thought that my son uses my address to keep a connection, but I also know that I could be putting my assets in danger, which is why I felt the need to try to set this boundary again. I sent a text to saying that I have concerns about the discrepancy between his income and spending, and that I don't judge him, but for my own well-being, now that he has his own place he needs to do a change of address in the next month. He also needs to set up a payment plan and put the electricity in his name within a month. I said I love him and want a healthy relationship with him. He called an hour ago. I shouldn't have answered. What he said: He's not dealing, he buys and trades cars is how he makes money. He is stressed and on the verge of relapse. He's the best friend in my life and has always treated me well (so far from the truth as to be ludicrous). I and my husband are scumbags. He can't change his address. A veiled threat: he's not coming after me, but he's a mean, psychotic guy who beats up people, but he doesn't like to show me that side. He said people are afraid of him. He said he may decide to go back to dealing and make tens of thousands of dollars. I told him I'm afraid of him and I don't want anything to do with someone who hurts other people. Over the years he has threatened, especially when he gets angry because the manipulation and intimidation works to get me to cave. I am pretty shaken up. I am going to try to calm down and figure out a plan tomorrow. Again thank for the support. [/QUOTE]
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