Yesterday after work I was paying some bills and noticed some charges my son(A) put on his cell phone. I was in a chat to try to cancel some subscription he had signed up for, and the lady was just not getting it so I was frustrated. husband walks in and sees me frustrated and immediately calls my son. husband was agitated, yes, but apparently A was even more so. They got in a yelling match and husband insisted he come over. I was mad at husband for that so we fought while A was making his way. I told him he needs to read some books on detachment, I was serious as a heart attack but husband took it like I was being a condescending smart a**. SO A gets sin the house and he is shark-eyed hopping mad- apparently coming off of benzos - and goes into the house and starts threatening my daughter's new boyfriend who was also over. Apparently there was some video on social media that was not tasteful. husband saw it but I didn't. He said it was him spanking her (I know - that's a separate subject and we are handling). It was so bizarre - they have NO relationship whatsoever and he's never gave a crap about her EVER. She's been in the hospital, sick as a dog, her last boyfriend was extremely controlling and did a number on her mentally, etc etc - nothing from him. She hates his lifestyle. About 2 months ago, he slept with one of her friends and then dropped her off the next morning for her to take home. I could go on and on. Well, daughter and boyfriend leave and A stays behind and husband tries so hard to talk to him but he's not having it. A finally got worn out from the ranting and defending, like a balloon deflated. Asked husband for some razors and food and left. (My daughter came back and that video was dealt with.) My takeaway is this though - if I hadn't been upset about the stupid phone bill, then husband never would have called him and this wouldn't have happened. I guess I always blame myself because I want to control the situation and keep the drama from happening. I'm never in the drama, I'm just on the sidelines wringing my hands and trying desperately to think about my next baking project, I can't get a word in edgewise and frankly I don't want to talk to either my husband or A when they are like that. I may have to get a divorce. I don't know. I'm rambling, I have more to say but I hope someone reads this so I'll stop!