My 36 year old daughter came over this morning giving me 1/2 the rent and she is behind 2 car payments. She looked manic, sad and complained about her period. I made her a good breakfast, cut up a watermelon, she loves watermelon. She poured out her sob story about being broke and trying to make ends meet etc. Most of the time I feel sorry for her and feel like crying but this time I did not have those feelings, this time the death of my mother is taking all my feelings and instead of me feeling sorry for her, I felt as if she suffered enough maybe she will get herself out of the rat hole she constantly puts herself into. She cannot expect to disrespect us and we keep bailing her out but that is how it has been but since mom died my give a sh%# about her self pity party has gone away. I started to feel sorry for her, she looked a mess and before it would really bother me but today I found new stronger feelings and realize all she does is use and abuse me which keeps both of us stuck. I see an end to the abuse coming quicker than I thought. I can only control how I choose to act and what I choose to do. I was kind to her, said nice things and treated her with dignity and respect, but I was firm on her being responsible for herself, she was trying to pity me with telling me how much her insurance was and I kept thinking well get another job or do what you need to. I told her she was intelligent enough to figure out how she was going to make it. She always says she does not need a man to help her and I say then quit taking my man's money. She is trying to afford her and 1/2 [email protected]@ boyfriend that is how she got so behind in the first place. I explained that I have a partner and we are a team and we help each other through this life and life would be easier if she picked the right mate that had a steady job. I am sure that if she did not spend money on her 1/2 [email protected]@ boyfriend he would be gone. As my daughter ate her breakfast, she hung her head. I am fighting hard to not feel sorry for her and bail her out again, I will replace the feeling sorry for her nasty self and replace it with finding peace with my mothers death. As I am typing this I keep seeing in my minds eye the poor beat down her but in reality she is not a nice person. I say a prayer for all of us that are trying to do the right thing. Right now I will take care of myself and hopefully my daughter will take much better care of herself. My personality is to help and serve my family, friends and community but I have to rethink the very nature that I am because the very nature of who I am is NOT working with her or else I would still not be in this mess with her.