Called for help

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by RPmom, Jan 9, 2019.

  1. RPmom

    RPmom New Member

    Update. Received call from Daughter late last night; they had run out of gas again as they have no money. Begging me to come help. I did not go. Just went back to sleep. She won’t speak to me today but did respond to my text that she is okay.
  2. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Good! She cant be waking you up to get her in the middle of the night. YOU call in the middle of the night if something goes wrong? Nobody, right? You deal with it.

    Do you ask your parents or other family for money? Why should she? If she hasnt planned well or saved or worked, she is an adult who needs to solve the problem.

    You can turn your phone off all night. Every night. You cant do anything for her at those hours.

    Good job!
  3. Tired out

    Tired out Active Member

    Telling her no to unreasonable requests is a good step.
  4. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    I put my phone on do not disturb at night which allows me to see texts or missed call in the morning but get no notification at night. Also if you have someone that you need to be able to reach you you can set them as a priority and it will allow their calls through. Mine is set from 9 pm to 9 am. It drove my son crazy at first but now he accepts it. Just something to consider. My sons calls about breakdowns or out of gas or whatever were the reason i started doing this.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  5. RPmom

    RPmom New Member

    So hard to do when I want so badly to rescue her. Then the next day she acts like nothing happened. Does she even remember?
  6. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    It seems sometimes that they do not except that we are their go to rescuer so they must. Believe me they will find a way. Gift them with a triple a card maybe. If the car wont run at worst they have to sleep in the car until morning or walk somewhere for help. My counselor told me to think what is the worst that can happen it is most often not as bad as you think.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  7. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I have my phone set up so my sister, mother, and Life Alert can reach me after and before a certain hour.

    Unfortunately, after years as an Army wife whose husband was frequently on maneuvers/deployed, and actually medivac-ed out of a deployment, and as someone who was on-call for a lot of years, I am not only trained to "wake up on ring/beep", but I often either take an hour or two to fall back to sleep or can't fall back to sleep at all.
  8. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    It sounds like your daughter figured it out on her own. Maybe next time she calls you for help, remind her of this situation and tell her she's more capable than she realizes.