Cannibus Use

[sandra W.]

I have an adult son that use to be in treatment when he was a teen after that he started to take weed i guess the cool kids were doing that. it is hard to make friends sometimes when you have behavioral problems. He is now in his 20s and I have to go thru legal measures to get him out. Weed to him is like heroin every dime goes on it he gets very volatile He use to be volatile before but its really bad now he has destroyed my home with acting out and puts danagerous behavior threats sometimes. I have tried every method for years to help him. He has told me i am suppose to take care of him. He is a man. He said he would go to therapy if i pay for everything and only because he doesnt want to be evicted. I something happens to me he will not know how to survive he could do worse or could do better but living me has enabled him. He can quit jobs, not work because he will always have food rent autilities. I have to let go but still love him. this was not an easy decision but he has come to be very danagerous i hanged on helped as much as some ppl would not do. As they say you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink it. I keep in mind living with me is crippling him he has no incentive to be independent some ppl say set boundaries if that would have worked i would have done that long time ago. So i have to evict

 

[BusynMember1]

Hi there. Sorry you have to be here. It's brutal. We have to take care of ourselves first....I learned the hard way.

My daughter has never had a totally sober day since 12 years old when she started smoking weed. Her SO also heavily smoles weed every day too. My daughter thinks weed is so healthy that she deliberately smoked even more while she was
Pregnant. Sick, I know. She thought it would give her a smarter, healthier child.

My daughter used to take speed, cocaine, you name it. She is in another state now and claims she only smokes weed. She might be telling the truth, but she could be lying. So may your son. Addicts are great liars. I take everything she claims as a lie. I caught her in so many. Especially about drug use.

If Kay is only smoking weed it isn't healthy for her at all.She has changed in horrible ways and won't speak to us. She lives in a motorhome with her awful SO across the country. They often fight physically. Her son, our grand, now lives with my normal daughter, thankfully. Kay lives on state benefits.

I never let Kay back after i found her having she threw a glass vase at my son and he just missed glass going into his eye.But we bought her a house so she wouldn't be homeless. That didn't work so we bought her many other things and cleaned out half our retirement. Kay won't work. Her husband gets low wage pizza place jobs. eye. They get Disability, food share.and Medicaid. We are done. We closed The Bank of Dad and Mom.

Kay also told us we had to support her. We did for ten years. What a waste. Nothing we did for her helped. She is not a nice person either. She seems to have only wanted our money and for us to pay for lawyers when necessary
We enabled her so much!

I am in a Zoom Nar Anon group now and this saved my marriage and maybe my life. No more getting involved in Kay's stuff. I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner. I have a husband (her father) and other kids who suffered because of my trying to help Kay. Nobody but Kay got attention. I had to apologize to my nice kids. Nobody speaks to Kay and she likes it that way, so I hear from a few cousins whom she didn't block from her social media.

I recommend a Nar Anon Zoom meeting. You can look them up online. We have a great Thursday night group. Doesn't matter where you live. Even out of country. On Zoom you can live in CA and still attend an online meeting in a NY based group if the time is best for you. We have folks from all over in our Midwest group. Doesn't matter.

My opinion is to find a Nar Anon group and/or learn to take care of your needs first and dont try to fix your son. You cant. Helping often makes things worse. The addicted child has to want help and get it well his own. There is no other way.

Prayers and love.

Prayers and love