I cannot believe that I am making progress with my boundaries with AS (30 yrs. old). It has not been easy because he still sends out an e-mail to me (almost daily) telling me what a miserable horrible parent I am and I never should have had kids etc. (that's the nice version). I had been gassing he vehicle every four days (in the summer/winter ev. 2 days), meeting up to get cloths to wash, bringing him soap, water snacks. Since our blow up when I was on vacation almost two weeks ago, I have not gassed his vehicle or run to get his dirty cloths. Every e-mail he sends says "out of gas". I mentioned previously, he started a job at a coffee place last week but first paycheck isn't until the 30th. He did take out a loan I think of about $400 against the title of his car (that I'm still paying for on another loan I rolled over). Sounds like all that money is gone. He has sent e-mails to me of how that's coming due on the 7th etc. I've remained firm and just said, I'm sorry this is happening to you and you will likely lose the vehicle but you'll have to figure it out. I've said this over and over and over again. I'm not fighting back, trying to "teach" him how to fix his problems (Lord, knows I have million ideas, as usual and want to fly in with my red cape flapping in the wind) but I'm biting my tongue and allowing him to face the consequences of his own choices. I have "moments" that I get stuck on dwelling about his hunger, discomfort, sadness etc. but I try not to "stay" there too long. I sometimes can't even believe that this is "me" making progress. I always thought it was for other people. I am very faith filled but honestly, until I really turned this over to God, who is ultimately the one in charge and stopped "taking it back" nothing was going to change. In the meantime, 26 yr. old AS is spiraling out of control drinking. With his father's imminent death, due to chronic alcoholism (so, so very sad) he is drinking more and more and probably smoking MJ to cover up his already PTSD and ADHD issues. He's not contacting me at this time but I'm hearing this thru his aunt. Feeling hurt about that but I have tried so hard to change both of them. I'm now trying to step aside and stay out of the way.