We are at this point essentially childless which is a relief and very painful at the same time. It's very different. Calm and peaceful and no adolescent drama, or contact with my wife's ex, which is wonderful to be honest. But then we miss the boys at the same time. Or I should say, we mourn what used to be, and the boys that they were. They are now young men and I am quite sure, very different than we remember. We have no contact with either DS or YS. There is no forward momentum, no therapy, no desire or willingness on either son's part to reconcile, and certainly their father is no help. W texts them both regularly; she does not call. Neither ever responds. W stopped accompanying YS to his doctor's appointments months ago after he threatened to stop going completely if she continued to attend. She feels, and I agree, that he needs to be in therapy no matter what. And without backup from his father, this is an unwinnable power struggle. So she accepted his demands. DS' birthday is coming up. W has purchased a card for him which she intends to mail. Last year we hosted a huge party for him at our house and things seemed to go well. About one month later YS made his suicide attempt and the world, our world, exploded. The summer has brought with it some health challenges for W in particular. They are managed now and are expected to be managed successfully long term but the situation is still serious, potentially life threatening in a worst case scenario. Her sons do not know and even if they did know, I don't think they would care. She did not ask me to contact them, or their father, which I thought was smart. Everyone is hurt, some family members devastated, by the choices these young men have made. But we are all moving on. Despite the worst tragedies living can present to us, life does always go on. The other day while out walking we met a new neighbor. In chatting we learned this neighbor has two sons. One child bears the first name of DS; the second child bears his middle name. Neither name is terribly uncommon but I was floored regardless. W chose not to mention either DS or YS and thanked me for not making an issue out of it. I think that shows progress on her part, that she is accepting of what is.