Countdown to Job Corps...Will he make it?

[Jabberwockey]

Holy guacamole! How are you feeling Liz. This is your time to chill and NOT stress.

Sorry, but first I have to ask....why do you keep calling her Liz?? Just curious.

And for the record, while this upset her, she seems to be handing it pretty well. I think she is finally coming to terms with the fact that until HE decides to change, things will remain the same.

 

[pasajes4]

Ooops.............sorry. My BFF's name is Liz.

 

[tishthedish]

You do know what that's from right? Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Lil, this line is also in Mel Brooks, Blazing Saddles. Much better than Treasure of Sierra Madre in my opinion. Laughter is the best medicine. xoxox feel better soon.

 

[Albatross]

Last Sunday my husband and I were trying to remember the last time Difficult Child acknowledged Mother's Day, Father's Day or either of our birthdays. I think our DCs are at the age of being a *little" self-centered anyway. But it hurts when they don't seem to care. I'm glad your procedure went well.

 

[Lil]

Well, it's done. I texted our son today. I basically said this:

I guess we're not hearing much from you these days, so I want to remind you of a couple of things. You now have 15 days to get your community service done and pay your $30. That's plenty of time if you just get to it. Hopefully you've paid the $30, since that's the first thing your money should have gone to. I'll text you L's number so you can contact her about working. I will not go to court on the 10th so you best have it done. That's all I can say about it. Just do it and everything will be fine. If you don't, well, that's up to you.

This week I expect dad will start cleaning out the apartment. If you have anything there you don't want us to know about, you better get there in the next day or so. We plan on bagging the clothes, tossing your bed and chair and either donating or storing everything else, so if you want stuff you better call or text your dad.

I love you and hope you are okay. Please acknowledge you got this.

I followed with the necessary numbers for him to call.

He responded with: Okay, thank you. I love you.

So...it's done.

He of course, didn't ask how I was feeling. Not surprised. Still hurt.

So...we shall see what's happened June 10.

I am officially done trying.

Officially.

 

[Echolette]

Good for you, Lil. Its great that you were able to be so clear, and great that he confirmed that he got it. Keep that text so that later, when he starts with the excuses/questions/obfuscations, you can KNOW that you were clear. COM says often that it is enough to say things once (oh wait, was that just an oxymoron???)...and it is so. I used to joke that I was going to get a tattoo on my thumb to remind me...HE IS NOT DEAF. If I said it and he isn't taking my advice/following through/doing what I suggest it isn't because he didn't hear it...it is because he is choosing not to. If Difficult Child doesn't do as you suggest, doesn't do service, doesn't go to court, doesn't take what he wants from apartment...it isn't because he didn't hear what you said.

Good luck to you in these hard days, Lil and Jabber. Letting go of the fight we have been fighting with ourselves is hard.

Echo

 

[Albatross]

I think you did a fantastic job, Lil. I especially like that there were no lectures or anger, just handing the facts off to him as an adult and letting him handle it as an adult. I am glad he let you know he got it. I really like Echo's idea to save the texts to minimize the potential "but I didn't know" arguments that might be coming up.

 

[Lil]

Well okay, I did actually text him one more time and let him know that if he doesn't do the community service or go to court, and a warrant is issued for his arrest, his dad and I are in the same position that we were in back when his friends had warrants...they couldn't be around us and HE can't be around us...at all...if he has a warrant. The nature of our employment, especially Jabber's, is such that we can't be around anyone who is wanted. To allow that to happen would in effect make it so we could never see him. I asked him to please not put us in that position.

He responded, "I know mom".

I said, "I know you know, I just had to say it. I miss you a little bit."

So it's done. I told him. I really won't say anything else about it. It's up to him.

 

[pasajes4]

Lil, The important thing is that now you know, he knows everything he needs to know, and when he knew it.