After my 36 year old borderline left her abuser with her 5 year old and newborn, a friend of mine offered her a temporary quasi apt. with a shared kitcen, and I agreed to pay 3 months while she waits for subsidized housing 9 (6-12month wait). She looked a gift horse in the mouth and has nothing but criticism of my friend, has been verbally abusive, and crossed boundaries regarding rules. My friend plans to tell her to leave and will involve the police if necessary, but my daughter doesn't know that yet. She is awful to me - no emotional regulation, doesn't honor agreements, and wants the priveleges of an adult without shouldering the responsiblies. I am sick to my stomach because the shelters in our town are full, and the inlaws are already after custody of the children. As much as she has created this, it hurts to know she'll be on the street. I know crisis means danger + opportunity, so I will try to have some hope, but right now I just feel tired and battered. She only has contact with me to be rescued. She is a real black and white thinker, and despite all the ways we've tried to help, her step dad and I are to her just the most awful people because we won't take her in or continue to bankroll her without real evidence of her getting treatment and outside support. Just need to keep posting to stay clear and strong, so I don't get lost in the FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt. Thanks to all here who share their experience, strength, and hope.