HereWeGoAgain
Grandpa
OK, difficult child has been out on the streets since leaving my parent's house at the beginning of February. At that time she had been about 6 weeks clean.
The last time we heard from her was almost 3 weeks ago. She said she'd been beat up the night before and wanted to get help. wife wouldn't go get her and bring her home, because of easy child 1, who is home schooled, but got in touch with my parents and with difficult child's DHS counselor. They were set to get her checked in to a detox unit. But difficult child never called back.
wife had a bit of a breakdown, felt like she had turned difficult child away when she was seeking to make a change. My mom came over and she and the counselor sat with her for a couple of hours.
Fast forward to a week ago. difficult child's ex-boyfriend called wife. difficult child had called him to ask for money. He met her and and gave her some, found out she was staying at a guy's apartment where they were cooking meth. He said she was shooting up and was in bad shape. He told wife that if she called again, he was going to try to find out exactly where the lab was and call the police. But he didn't get called again.
Day before yesterday I was at home and picked up a call from another friend of difficult child's. Apparently difficult child was at a motel and had called the friend for help getting away from some other woman who was "pimping her out". The friend, who was at work, said why don't you call your mother? difficult child told her she had been turned out (not exactly true - she took off on her own) and could not go back. She told difficult child she was sure we would let difficult child come back home, no matter what may have been said (pretty typical attitude of people who haven't spent years around a difficult child, I think) and offered to call us first. I told the friend to relay to difficult child that she could call and we'd try to get her help. What I had in mind was picking up difficult child and taking her to an ER for detox.
Well, of course the friend wasn't able to get back to difficult child. She had a motel phone number, but no room number. difficult child didn't call her again. So once more we have a harrowing glimpse into difficult child's nightmare world but are unable to do anything. (These people seem very anxious to call us and let us know how badly difficult child is faring. It's like they get some kind of morbid satisfaction from it.) wife was set to go drive around the neighborhood of the motel. I told wife I thought that was a bad idea, which made her quite angry, but she didn't do it and forgave me later in the evening.
We've also gotten letters from an attorney for WalMart (where else?) making a "civil demand" for $100 in connection with difficult child being detained for shoplifting; and a notice to appear on a traffic violation; and there was a hearing she no doubt missed on public intoxication so I bet there's a bench warrant now on that.
With these incidents piling up and the details getting worse and worse, I have that "gut feeling" (as discussed on another recent thread) that a big crisis is looming. It might be a medical emergency: she has thyroid deficiency; if she's purging again that can cause kidney problems (for which she's been hospitalized twice before) or heart failure from low potassium; she is probably not taking her anti-seizure medicine; she could get mugged or beat up again by a pimp or a john; or she could simply OD. Or it might be prison, if she gets caught cooking meth, or selling meth or heroin, or on theft or prostitution. Actually prison might be the best thing - she's never spent more than a night or two in jail so a longer stint may be her true rock-bottom. I just pray that we don't get a call to identify her body.
I'm also worried about not being there when this crisis comes. wife has a pretty good network there at home - her sisters and brothers-in-law, easy child sons 1 and 2 (easy child son 2 is living at home again, just started a new job), my parents, and her two oldest friends (one of whom has major difficult child trouble of her own). Still, I don't like being 1,200 miles away when something goes down.
The last time we heard from her was almost 3 weeks ago. She said she'd been beat up the night before and wanted to get help. wife wouldn't go get her and bring her home, because of easy child 1, who is home schooled, but got in touch with my parents and with difficult child's DHS counselor. They were set to get her checked in to a detox unit. But difficult child never called back.
wife had a bit of a breakdown, felt like she had turned difficult child away when she was seeking to make a change. My mom came over and she and the counselor sat with her for a couple of hours.
Fast forward to a week ago. difficult child's ex-boyfriend called wife. difficult child had called him to ask for money. He met her and and gave her some, found out she was staying at a guy's apartment where they were cooking meth. He said she was shooting up and was in bad shape. He told wife that if she called again, he was going to try to find out exactly where the lab was and call the police. But he didn't get called again.
Day before yesterday I was at home and picked up a call from another friend of difficult child's. Apparently difficult child was at a motel and had called the friend for help getting away from some other woman who was "pimping her out". The friend, who was at work, said why don't you call your mother? difficult child told her she had been turned out (not exactly true - she took off on her own) and could not go back. She told difficult child she was sure we would let difficult child come back home, no matter what may have been said (pretty typical attitude of people who haven't spent years around a difficult child, I think) and offered to call us first. I told the friend to relay to difficult child that she could call and we'd try to get her help. What I had in mind was picking up difficult child and taking her to an ER for detox.
Well, of course the friend wasn't able to get back to difficult child. She had a motel phone number, but no room number. difficult child didn't call her again. So once more we have a harrowing glimpse into difficult child's nightmare world but are unable to do anything. (These people seem very anxious to call us and let us know how badly difficult child is faring. It's like they get some kind of morbid satisfaction from it.) wife was set to go drive around the neighborhood of the motel. I told wife I thought that was a bad idea, which made her quite angry, but she didn't do it and forgave me later in the evening.
We've also gotten letters from an attorney for WalMart (where else?) making a "civil demand" for $100 in connection with difficult child being detained for shoplifting; and a notice to appear on a traffic violation; and there was a hearing she no doubt missed on public intoxication so I bet there's a bench warrant now on that.
With these incidents piling up and the details getting worse and worse, I have that "gut feeling" (as discussed on another recent thread) that a big crisis is looming. It might be a medical emergency: she has thyroid deficiency; if she's purging again that can cause kidney problems (for which she's been hospitalized twice before) or heart failure from low potassium; she is probably not taking her anti-seizure medicine; she could get mugged or beat up again by a pimp or a john; or she could simply OD. Or it might be prison, if she gets caught cooking meth, or selling meth or heroin, or on theft or prostitution. Actually prison might be the best thing - she's never spent more than a night or two in jail so a longer stint may be her true rock-bottom. I just pray that we don't get a call to identify her body.
I'm also worried about not being there when this crisis comes. wife has a pretty good network there at home - her sisters and brothers-in-law, easy child sons 1 and 2 (easy child son 2 is living at home again, just started a new job), my parents, and her two oldest friends (one of whom has major difficult child trouble of her own). Still, I don't like being 1,200 miles away when something goes down.
