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General Parenting
Cutting ties🤷♀️
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunshineaftertherain" data-source="post: 760071" data-attributes="member: 20606"><p>Thanx for the feedback...maybe I expressed myself wrong, we wont cut all ties, we will still support him financially and medically and we still pay his tutoring . We will be there if he asks for help or support. We are just not sure how to navigate the relationship on an emosional deeper level...I agree, there is always hope, and as you said, he is still young, although he tries to behave all grown up, but I can see he is making immiture choises. I just wondered if there is any one who went through this and decided to distance themselves emotionally, almost like disconnecting, to protect the rest of the family and ourselves....we will always be there if he asks for help or decides to turn back and start taking some responsibility for behaviour and investing in the relationship....my question still stands: on what level do you keep on with this relationship, how do you navigate it when the young adult disrespects your values, not just religious, but if you can't trust them, not feel safe around them.....for how long do you keep on giving, also plenty of money....if they use it for unsafe things....do you keep on to open yourself and your younger child up for being sweared at, manipulated and lied to...he can believe whatever he wants, but we surely do 't have to tolerate being in a car and being forced to listen to demonic music or having to listen and watch all the stories he tells us, full of swearing and grusome bloody details......its difficult to imagine how to have a deep relationship with such iineraction....and environment.</p><p>Yes we have been trying plenty of therapy for the last 14 years....lately he doesnt want to attend and he sabotages the sessions by lying and manipulating the session. To such an extend that the therapists dont see the use of any further sessions. Yes, we are willing to give it time, but what do we do in the meantime....until he one day decides to turn his life around...or not....?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunshineaftertherain, post: 760071, member: 20606"] Thanx for the feedback...maybe I expressed myself wrong, we wont cut all ties, we will still support him financially and medically and we still pay his tutoring . We will be there if he asks for help or support. We are just not sure how to navigate the relationship on an emosional deeper level...I agree, there is always hope, and as you said, he is still young, although he tries to behave all grown up, but I can see he is making immiture choises. I just wondered if there is any one who went through this and decided to distance themselves emotionally, almost like disconnecting, to protect the rest of the family and ourselves....we will always be there if he asks for help or decides to turn back and start taking some responsibility for behaviour and investing in the relationship....my question still stands: on what level do you keep on with this relationship, how do you navigate it when the young adult disrespects your values, not just religious, but if you can't trust them, not feel safe around them.....for how long do you keep on giving, also plenty of money....if they use it for unsafe things....do you keep on to open yourself and your younger child up for being sweared at, manipulated and lied to...he can believe whatever he wants, but we surely do 't have to tolerate being in a car and being forced to listen to demonic music or having to listen and watch all the stories he tells us, full of swearing and grusome bloody details......its difficult to imagine how to have a deep relationship with such iineraction....and environment. Yes we have been trying plenty of therapy for the last 14 years....lately he doesnt want to attend and he sabotages the sessions by lying and manipulating the session. To such an extend that the therapists dont see the use of any further sessions. Yes, we are willing to give it time, but what do we do in the meantime....until he one day decides to turn his life around...or not....? [/QUOTE]
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