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Daughter homeless with Bipolar depression
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<blockquote data-quote="Mirabelle" data-source="post: 762525" data-attributes="member: 28712"><p>I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Reaching out to NAMI, which offers online support groups for families of people suffering from mental illness, could help. I have also heard good things about Families Anonymous. My husband and I see a therapist to help us deal with our 21 year old son (my stepson) whose situation sounds very similar to your daughter's. I was able to get a referral from my GP just by asking.</p><p></p><p>The behavior you describe in your daughter sounds familiar. Whether our son was unmotivated and not taking care of himself, or up all night bouncing off the walls, he was impossible to live with. He was so far into his own head, we were no more than in house wait staff. We were expected to meet all his needs instantly......food, cigarettes, money, clean clothes. If he needed to stay up all night rapping in the next room, we weren't being supportive of his recovery if we explained that we needed to go to work in the morning. All the while he wasn't taking his medicine, but was self medicating with drugs, and with alcohol stolen from us. It was a CONSTANT cause of anxiety and misery.</p><p></p><p>What finally got us over the hump in not allowing him to live with us was realizing that we weren't helping him at all. He was in his own world, living in a comfortable home with food and amenities, with no need to work on his recovery or to take steps toward independence. He was 'yupping' us to death....yup I'm looking for a job, yup I'm taking my medicine, yup I'll do better. </p><p></p><p>Since leaving around six months ago, he has stayed in various places and is currently at a shelter. Ironically enough, when he is not enabled to live like a 15 year old on summer vacation, his mental health seems to improve. He is focused on getting by rather than navel gazing. We hate having him out there with his condition, but if he were still here he would be behaving in exactly the same way, and my husband would have had a heart attack by now.</p><p></p><p>What has helped us through some to this point is pinning down what meaningful 'help' in this situation actually is. In fantasy land he would come have a few beers and watch a football game with my husband on a Sunday, before I made him his favorite dinner in the whole world and we had a great visit around the dining room table. We love him like that, but right now we would be kidding ourselves if we thought he would get out of that what we would get out of that. It would fill our hearts but it would not help or inspire him to do anything different. </p><p></p><p>I do hope it is of some comfort to hear from others with similar experiences. Please keep posting, even if just to vent. We are hear to listen and support!</p><p></p><p>Mirabelle xx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mirabelle, post: 762525, member: 28712"] I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Reaching out to NAMI, which offers online support groups for families of people suffering from mental illness, could help. I have also heard good things about Families Anonymous. My husband and I see a therapist to help us deal with our 21 year old son (my stepson) whose situation sounds very similar to your daughter's. I was able to get a referral from my GP just by asking. The behavior you describe in your daughter sounds familiar. Whether our son was unmotivated and not taking care of himself, or up all night bouncing off the walls, he was impossible to live with. He was so far into his own head, we were no more than in house wait staff. We were expected to meet all his needs instantly......food, cigarettes, money, clean clothes. If he needed to stay up all night rapping in the next room, we weren't being supportive of his recovery if we explained that we needed to go to work in the morning. All the while he wasn't taking his medicine, but was self medicating with drugs, and with alcohol stolen from us. It was a CONSTANT cause of anxiety and misery. What finally got us over the hump in not allowing him to live with us was realizing that we weren't helping him at all. He was in his own world, living in a comfortable home with food and amenities, with no need to work on his recovery or to take steps toward independence. He was 'yupping' us to death....yup I'm looking for a job, yup I'm taking my medicine, yup I'll do better. Since leaving around six months ago, he has stayed in various places and is currently at a shelter. Ironically enough, when he is not enabled to live like a 15 year old on summer vacation, his mental health seems to improve. He is focused on getting by rather than navel gazing. We hate having him out there with his condition, but if he were still here he would be behaving in exactly the same way, and my husband would have had a heart attack by now. What has helped us through some to this point is pinning down what meaningful 'help' in this situation actually is. In fantasy land he would come have a few beers and watch a football game with my husband on a Sunday, before I made him his favorite dinner in the whole world and we had a great visit around the dining room table. We love him like that, but right now we would be kidding ourselves if we thought he would get out of that what we would get out of that. It would fill our hearts but it would not help or inspire him to do anything different. I do hope it is of some comfort to hear from others with similar experiences. Please keep posting, even if just to vent. We are hear to listen and support! Mirabelle xx [/QUOTE]
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